Ten on Tuesday

It's that time again.
"The Ten on Tuesday topic for 11/6 is 10 Things On Your Mind Right Now. Good or bad, funny or serious - spill it!" dixit carole.  You can check out her ten on tuesday as well as links to other ten on tuesdayer's here.

My mind is never tranquil; Always "bouillonnant", buzzing, flitting.  Never alighting more than 10 seconds on one thing.  I dont know why and to be honest that's been on my mind a lot lately so i'll start with that

1. my flightiness and inability to concentrate whereas i used to have a fairly sharp mind.  for the past 12 or 13 years it seems to be degrading on a daily basis, and now recently ive been wondering a lot : was i ever smart? or did my family just make me think it? do i have alzheimers or ADD?  what on earth can i offer if im nothing but a ditzy airhead?

2. the chaperone.  im listening to this right now. it is an incredible, heartwarming and thought provoking hitorical fiction with a very interesting sociological snapshot of the roaring 20's up to pre-war USA including the kansas dust bowl and the prohibition, women's rights, and women's sexual liberation. 

3. my impending HS reunion that im very afraid i might just chicken out of

4. my impending visit to my family in nashville which, though im very excited about, leaves me also very worried as im at my heaviest right now and my dh is already unhappy with me and every trip home leads to me upping the scales and dh told me to just not bother coming back depending on how my visit goes "if you know what i mean" :/

5. work.  dissatisfaction with my job, be it in ER or in the office, but feeling guilty that i am not instead grateful.  feeling like i'm supposed to be doing something with my life but not knowing what it is, which leads in a viscious cycle back to thought n°1 on list and overeating and and and :/

6. the archangels visiting me this week (long story)

7. my little girl : growing pains, disturbing cell phone messages, school probs, trying to learn to love and appreciate her head-strongness and determination

8. my son who is also having growing pains and who isnt supported very well by some people around him (and sometimes myself included)

9. my sisters and my parents and a few special friends - always on my mind

10. my husband, our marriage, our future - holding on and hoping

and i'm very surprised when looking back over my list to see not one knitting or sewing project.  my coat is on hold as i'm mad at it.  my knitting is less than passionate these days.  im kind of in the crafting doldrums;  thinking of new yarn kind of stirs my insides, planning new projects does a little but nothing like what i'm used to.  wth?