Sunday, April 10, 2011

Weight Watchers take ... 10?

I've been struggling with my weight for all of my adult life. That may sound brattish to those who knew me growing up (110 pounds and size 2 til preganancy at 23 YO) or maybe even to some of my current friends and family (currently 140 pounds and size 10 or 12, which, I know isnt of catastrophic proportions). I know that for an american, my weight is totally acceptable. But you must remember I'm living in southern france and especially with a very macho man whose standards are pretty much impossible to reach but nonetheless very vocalized. Here in france, woen reallydo tend to be thinner as a rule and there is much more emphasis on outer appearance. We can choose to buy into this or not. You can strongly disagree about just about any 2 words strung together in this post. That doesnt change the fact that my DH is unhappy with my weight and is thus making me unhappy with myself and is also causing probs in our marriage. I'm not saying all our probs are from that nor am i saying he's 100% responsible for my feeling inadequate. But there is a huge prob around wieght in mine and my dh's collective lives. Also, taking everyone out of the picture, I'm 30 pounds heavier and 4 or 5 sizes bigger than 10 years ago. I'm not happy about that. The problem is I have problems with bingeing. I have tried weight watchers a gazillion times. I've been seeing a dietician for a few years - not helping AT ALL!!! I've done high protein diets. I've tried silly diets. All kinds of things. But I never follow through. I always end up binging after only a few days. The times I have lost weight, I've gained it all back within a very short period of time. I'm hoping this time will be different. So I signed up for WW online. Th WW meetings here in france are horrid. Take 45 overweight 50'ish yearold frenchwomen (let's not go there) and shove them in an unairconditioned, barely lit room about the size of a typical american bedroom, with small folding chairs in rows where your knees hit the lady in front of you and the lack of butt-room on the chair isnt important because the person sitting next to you (ie me, sitting with my arms shoved across my large boosum to make myself as small as possible becausei already feel out of place being at the meeting where they dagger you with their eyes because you only have 30 pounds to lose whereas they have 100 or so) has you safely wedged in, avoiding all falling through the 3 mm of space between the 2 chairs. that's WW in Beziers. Lovely - not! And i think this is going to work well for me. I'm on the puter all day at work any way so i can go and track my food easily. And i chose instead of WW.france because even though i live here, i do tend to eat more like an american and the french site doesnt allow for things like tacos and peanut butter lol. Also, they are always a couple of evolutions behind in the WW versions. OK, with all that, let's get down to how it went. So far, so good i guess. I've started a challenge group over there already. "down with chaffed thighs" because i went for a walk in a skirt and ugh! i had forgot about the sweaty chaffed thighs thing since last summer! I hate that! So i'm going to literally walk my butt and thighs and hopefully boobs off. and motivate some gals to do it along with me :D I met all the mini-goals of things to do this week : 1. Take a before photo and track your measurements. Done! 2. Track what you eat. Done! 3. Plan the best weight tracking strategy for you. Done! 4. Build your favorites. Done! 5.Clean your fridge and cupboards and clean them with healthy foods. Done! I tracked my eating 100% - even the horrible mid- week binge. And i stayed on track after the binge instead of flying into a cycle of more guilt-ridden binges :D I lost 3 pounds supposedly but i think that had something to do with PMS related water retention more than any effort on my behalf. I lost 1.5 inches on my waist!!! hello!? more water retention??? but only .5 inches on my bust and none on my hips and thighs :P My body is this year's current WIP. Wish me luck!


Tiddy and Charlie. said...

Go for it Rebecca! You are beautiful without loosing weight, but it means a lot to you , so I am 100% behind you! My tip....keep a bowl of ready prepared salad in the fridge for when the munchies strike. Also sugar free jelly. That way, you wont have to prepare something or eat an unhealthy snack when you just cant wait for the next meal. Good luck! :o)

Rebecca said...

thank you! i'm trying to keep celery and carrot sticks on hand because those are my fave veggies. thanks for the encouragement!

Anonymous said...

i love you and think you are perfect. i understand why you want this and i am behind you 100%. di

Rebecca said...

you are perfect! i know i've said this before but you are the only person i've met who truly does love unconditionally and understand others so well.
I love you too. missing you
tried to call this weekend but couldnt catch you
i'll try again this weekend.