Friday, October 22, 2010

a little tirade

i'll try to be quick but you know me ;)

i can make a quick story drag on for hours hehehe

so, we all know alex can be a little pistol.

she had that bout a few weeks back with the girls in class, remember?

much better but the otehr girls are still actin glike turds. whatever.

tehn she had a pb with her female teacher (has her once a week) who actually pulled her out of her chair by her collar (and a handful of hair) and then knocked her desk over because alex said she couldnt see the board (she's in the back).

she may have been being a stinker then too and that was the teacher's final straw (she says nothing at all had happened before but alex can tend to hide the truth sometimes) - either way whether she had already gotten on teacher's nerves or not, she should not have been treated that way; that same teacher has treated her unfairly several other times since the beginning of the year as well (asking if everyone has eraser, ruler, penicl...smiling and giving it to them when they said no, and then not giving an eraser to alex and replying "you should have your stuff with you" when she didnt have hers. things like that.

so dh went and ...uh, you know dh - i WOULD NOT hae liked to have been in her shoes. he may have been a little condescending and rude to the teacher...just a little ;)

anyhow, this makes 2ce in 2 months that dh or i have gone to see alex' teachers.

and to be honest i dont think we have been unreasonable - we are well too aware of our faults and her own to think she's above all guilt. in fact i feel we dont defend her enough because we do know she can tend to be a stinker.

anyhow, new blow up with a 3rd person. A TRUE BEYATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this one is complicated so here goes :

two little boys live close by, one is in her class. Boy A is the son of alex' teacher from the past two years. He was in his mom's class for both of those years which i dont think is particularly healthy anyway - she had a wierd relationship with him - very fusional; she's a single mother and is with her son ALL the time, 24/7.

Boy B is Boy A's friend and neighbor and is the son of a teacher from alex' school. though this teacher did not work last year or this year.

Boys A and B return home teh same time as alex and her girlfriends and they often called her "whore" and "dumb-a" - hello! she's 10!!! and so are they!!!

so my dh told them to stop.

i didnt know this part by the way when all of the following happened.

so, this B-i-t-c-h (boy B's mother and the now not working teacher) drove behind my daughter and her friends (on their bikes) when they were coming back from school and as soon as the friends pulled off (they live closer than us) the lady pulled in front of alex, making her stop her bike and yelled at her pointing her finger right up in her face (it was so up in alex' face that she was able to relate to me that her finger and face were shaking because she was so mad so i can really imagine the countenance of this B++++ while she's blocking my daughter's path), literally scaring the living daylights out of my daughter. Alex came in shaking and crying. She had felt someone following her and thought it was a kidnapper first of all so that alone had her already terrified and then she said the woman almost hit her front bike wheel she pulled over in front of her so quick and then got yelled at and insulted. i was proud of alex who stood tall and told the woman to go see her dad instead of her.

I immediately called the woman who WOULD NOT let me put in a word edge-wise. Since i had been talking first and she started talking over me i continued which means neither of us heard the other so i stopped and said obviously we cant convers with you - go ahead and say what you have to say. i then said ok i heard you, let me speak now. she says go ahead but as soon as the 1st phrase was out of my mouth she interrupted me. and continued to do so every time i tried to speak. she misinterpreted everything i said, extrapolated illogical conclusions, turned everything in a negative light for alex and a positive light for her son.

i told her i knew good and well alex had some attitude adjusments to make but that that didnt make it ok for her to come in crying because two little boys keep calling her bad names that make her feel bad.

so she informs me that her son is well-educated and doesnt say those kindsof words. she then says, i however know your daughter (insinuations hanging in the air) and that he comes in crying everyday b/c of alex and that he also came in crying b/c my dh scared him by telling him to leave alex alone.

i said, i'm sorry that happened, i wasnt aware of it and you're right my dh should not have gone to your son but to you to talk about things, as i'm doing, and dh and i will talk about this later, but that doesnt make it ok for you to terrorize my daughter.

she said as if, your dd knows my car and knew good and well it was me.

our conversation ended with me feeling frustrated, her feeling empowered.

i found out later how things really happened with dh and boy b : he talks to htem often on the way home from school, joking around with them (he's a kidder all the time) and racing them up the street when they're all 3 on bikes. they know him and know he is alex' dad. he passed tehm downhill on his bike and they stopped him to say something to him so he stopped and turned around and answered and before heading off again he said, hey, guys, by the way, be cool and stop giving alex a hard time.

wow. not very traumatic. how i wisdh dh had told me that before so i could have handled things differently on the phone with that heffer!

anyhow, this has been making me feel bad. but yesterday (a week after all this transpired!) the mom was in the school talking with all her old teacher friends and the principal (alex' male teacher i had talked to earlier in the year). of course she now knows we've been to see teachers twice already this year. and alex walked by and she said in a very loud voice, oh, that's the little brat whose mom called me and made a big scene over nothing. she's a trouble-maker yaddayadda yadda - alex didnt hear the rest b/c she wasno longer in ear shot.

i feel so angry and frustrated. i dont want anything bad to happen to this lady but i do wish she would realize she's being unfair, hypocritical, unreasonable, mean, and rude and that others would know that about her instead of only listening to her side and thinking i'm the b-i-t-c-h

and you know, a lady from my tiny village just contacted me on rav and we could get to knit and stuff to gether but i'm ashamed for her to learn who i am b/c the whole town thinks i'm a b++++ and alex is a demonchild b/c of this ordeal.


sulkycat said...

good grief becca, poor you and poor alex!

no excuse for her teacher pulling her out of her seat (by hell there would be trouble in this country if that happened!), its the teachers job to remain calm, handle problems and set an example - no matter how annoyed she is

as for the rest - i dont envy you one little bit
i would definitely meet up with the lady nearby, and let he rmake up her own mind about you, once she spends time with you she will see for herself how lovely you are

hang in there my friend x

Fibers said...

I agree with Miss Sulky on this one. Don't let these people make you question yourself. You are a good person and it are these small minded people who have the problem.
Meet the Rav lady, she will instantly feel that you are a better person. Just don't talk about this issue with her. If she knows anything of it, change the subject. In a small town/village it is best to never be the gossiper, eventually the ones that do will begin to look bad.

Keep your head high.

SB said...

A third agree here for sulky - go meet the lady. Sounds like parents/teachers need to be dealing with parents and not kids - like you tried to do.

Hugs and good luck -


Kendra said...

Maybe you should invite the lady over for tea. Or meet in a neutral (public) place - that way the yelling will be kept to a minimum. As you well know, I have dealt with many angry parents because of Benjamin. So, I understand. Just remember that you are her advocate....ALWAYS. She may have things that she needs to work on, we all do. But that lady was totally inapproiate in the way she approached you (and Alex). Hang in there!