Saturday, September 18, 2010

More on my little girl...ugh!

she and her classmates have been grouped in the same class for 3 years but last year the class dynamic was very unhealthy (i'm not talking to you anymore...hey girls, let's not talk to so and so today...oh, do you want to be our friend again today?) .
it bothered me a lot but i felt it was kids' probs and i shouldnt intervene other than talking to alex abot it and reminding her of the golden rule and stuff. i was hoping over the summer 1. that they would mix up the classes and 2. that the girls would grow up some
neither happened.
and my dd isnt innocent in all of this btw. she excludes with the best of them and apparently is often the instigator in spite all of the talkings here at the house, and towards the end, punishment form oh my dollz (a computer game) and from going out to play with her "friends" who i felt were bad influences, i.e. snooty spoiled brats.
anyhow, she's been the target of ostracisation for the past week but it's worse this year. they've grouped all of her friends over to their side to get them to not talk to alex anymore and they've started pushing and threatening too.
so i wanted to talk to her teacher who is also the school principal about this and see if he could help foster a more positive, civic environment in class
he was very condescending and basically said that you cant do anything about those kinds of things, that its just girls being girls which i totally disagree with and told him so. i also told him that if everyone just says nothing can be done, nothing will ever change and get better.
i told him also it wasnt just hurt feelings and childish behavior, that i felt it had reached the level of moral harrassment which at the ripe old age of 10 is absolutely ridiculous and unacceptable.
i think i'm working myself up all over again typing this!!!!!
but i feel very helpless and disarmed. i know alex' behavior is problematic too and that she can be a right snot with other kids and with adults as well. yet i've tried so hard to raise my kids to be polite! i fell so inadequate and discouraged with it all.


pat said...

bingshemBecca with all the bullying going on in American schools this is not to be taken lightly...maybe you need to research some of the kids who've committed suicide over bullying and present that to the man in charge. A boy 11 killed himself in Atlanta last year as I recall....reason BULLYING

Rebecca said...

11??? good lord! now i'm even more alarmed.
ugh X 2!!!
he said he'd talk to them on monday
i'll give it a week and seehow it goes.
but thanks for headsup

jm said...

hang in there--follow your instincts-keep open communications with your child--been there its tough and here the schools take it very seriously--just listen to your heart and your daughter-it is a part of growing up but not acceptable-encourage her and she will find new friends!

Kendra said...

I agree with "jm". And, might I add, you had asked for the girls to be split apart and that didn't happen. Perhaps, this is making it that happen. Although, this is not the ideal way, if may be forcing Alex to associate herself with other girls.

Also, if the school will not do anything about this situation, perhaps you should talk to the other girls parents. I would let them know that you are talking with Alex as well, and that you are not pleased with her participation in this. I would certainly make them aware of the the "pushing".

In the meantime, I would make sure that Alex knows what to do in that situation. I would make sure that she knows to find an adult and make them aware of the physical aggression. And if that doesn't work, that she knows how to defend herself.

I truly beleive that this will all work out. And you, and Alex, will be stronger on the other side. I think your relationship with her has an opportunity to grow in this too!