Monday, January 28, 2013

Day 5

Day 5 by rebeccawip
Day 5, a photo by rebeccawip on Flickr.

Healthy mind, healthy body, healthy soul
My theme for 2013.  Being happy with who and what i am.  who and what i'm becoming.  NOT easy for me.  Never has been but especially after 18 years of hearing negative comments on a daily basis.  I'm a persistant person if i'm anything though.  Cue song "I get knowcked down, but i get up again, no you're never gonna keep my down"
And dammit, i'm going to come back, im going to refind myself.
Part of this, is learning to love myself as i am now, even as i love myself by making healthy choices in the hopes of having "less" of me to love ;)  
I'm hoping that in losing part of my weight physically and my huge load of guilt emotionally i will gain back my pride, my sense of self-worth, my sense of being worthy of being loved.  Did i ever even have that sense?  
I do not want to lose sight though of the fact that even as i am today, at the heaviest ive ever been outside of my pregnancies, i am still someone.  i am still worth something.  i still have positive attributes.
So i plan on recording regular pics to 1 . show my evolution  2. see what kinds of clothes look best on me so i can try to look my best on my journey   3.  find something positive to say about myself anyhow

I havent measured myself lately.  Will try to get that done quickly.  But my stats i do know today

Weight : 68.6 kg (151 pounds)
Physical capacities : got super out of breath while taking a simple walk with DH and kids yesterday.  Feel winded, tired in my legs, no desire to keep going.
Mental : feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time, even after a prob with Rémi this evening (that is all fixed  up btw :) )  Started taking fleurs de bach from melanie on friday evening.  really think they help.
Spiritual : feeling perplexed but hopeful.

Something positive to say about myself.  My lower legs are comparatively thin and shapely.  I like my crafty capacities (red lace knit scarf)

I want to say hello to Margaret :D Thank you for your recent comment.  Glad to have you :D  I hope your knitting is taking off well in 2013.  feel free if you have any questions.  even if i dont know the answer i might can point you in the right direction :D 


Barbara B. Solbrig said...

Love you!

Rebecca said...

<3 hugs!

Margaret said...

Thank you Rebecca! :o)

Wonderful post, and you look great! (I's so hard to see ourselves as others see us. I do that, too.) I love your hair, also.

Thanks for the knitting help offer. :o)

jm said...

you know I think your fabulous!

Tiddy and Charlie. said...