WIP

Episode 14

2012-02-26T15:39:00.001+01:00

Been a while :/
but we're back in business ;D
episode 14

We are WIP's

2012-02-25T09:40:00.001+01:00

http://www.ucb.co.uk/index.cfm?itemid=88
There is hope - God is working and plannig in our lives even when we cant see it dont feel it dont believe it.
Just because your faith is weak, does that mean God is?
Just because you dont believe, does that make God not exist if He really does?
Does it?
I chose to believe that God is working in my life and will bring good works to completion because even though i'm always filled with doubt, when i stop to reflect on my past, i have felt God's presence in my life time and again. And isnt taht what lent is all about - reflecting. I hope to reflect a lot during this lenten season.
Love and God's peace to anyone reading this

Success stories

2012-02-24T08:52:00.002+01:00

I've never read the WW success stories. For lots of reasons - dont have the time to read about someone i dont know, dont want to hear about others' successes when i'm failing and flailing, and also it just seems so impossible and irrelevant to me, unacheivable.

Well, i decided to read some stories. today i read Gail's story. she said "As time went by, I realized that the most difficult part of losing weight is relearning eating habits. I ate to be social. I ate for comfort. I ate because I was nervous or bored. I ate just because the food was there. I learned to step back and say, "OK, I won't eat for those reasons, but I will eat for the one reason I should: when I'm hungry!""

Well, that's definitely true for me! I eat all the time - happy, sad, upset, mad. bored, entertained, busy, too much time on my hands. Anything leads me to eating. i feel a release as i put the food in my outh, anappeasing of too strong emotions. i feel it, like a wave of release washing over me. and i also feel the tide rising higher and higher ready to tsunami blast everyone around me away when i dont let the food peace wash over me. Even if im in a very happy place, it will end badly if i dont reign in that emotion somehow.

I need to learn to redirect the waters, have some other kind of release valve that will let the waters evacuate safely and without the negative consequences (guilt and disappointment and negative feelings about my self which lead to...more eating).

Again i'm using lent as a moment to reflect upon these things and i will be trying to learn to pray or praise through theses moments instead of eating through them. A lovely friend from ravelry, Barbara, and my best most wonderful friend and supporter in the world (you know that's my big sistah) both sent me very special lovely messages that have lifted me up inside and encouraged me in a veryspecial way both in my effortson weight loss and in my lent endeavors.

Thank you!!!!

WW take bazillion day 5

2012-02-23T11:29:00.003+01:00

Not really sure what's bugging me. Cant seem to concentrate at work (well not really new there, but it's worse today). Feel a little submerged, a little wierd, a little deflated and hopeless.

Starting lent today and plan on giving up diet coke and zero coke; This is gonig to be sooooo hard as those are little treats i give myself when i need a pick me up - icy cold out of the freezer with lots of ice, my spinning wheel or some knitting and i feel like "aaaaaaahhhhhhh". when i'm tired, need a sweet fix, need to quench thirst, nothing hits it like a zero coke.

So, when the urge comes i'm going to take the opportunity to have a glass of cold water or hot or cold tea and spend a few minutes praying, praising, meditating. But right now i feel about this plan is scared and defeated and uncapable of holding true.

I also plan on adding in love for lent - i'm going to do take bazillion of the love dare, really delve into the five languages of love, and again prayer prayer prayer.

in fact, after this negative post, i think a little prayer is in call right now. i'd appreciate your prayers.

WW day 3 take bazillion

2012-02-21T15:11:00.001+01:00

Well, today started off pretty darn crappy.

DH (d+++head, not darling anything lol!) greeted me this morning with a "you've really packed it on over the last week we werent here" while i was getting ready to go to work in a nice skirt, tights, and fitted sweater, thinking i looked halfway decent for once...

i prayed for protection from the hurt, i prayed for strength to keep my mouth shut. i got neither.

so we fought, i cried, i pouted. i was angry and hurt. and it wasnt even 8 am et!

i sent him a text message to apologize for yelling and fighting this morning but that i'm trying my best and that his words are continual sourcesof pain and hurt for me and are never a source of feeling loved and that i needed to feel loved. he texted back saying he too was sorry and that he would try to do better too.

in spite of all the emotional turmoil this dayhas brought on me, so far so goodsfar as staying on points is concerned.

i hope to do nordick track when i getin, then again i might opt for a walk. not sure which - options options ; ).

A new start

2012-02-20T18:06:00.000+01:00

I've fallen off the wagon more times than i'd care to admit : P
Why is it so difficult?
Things will be going along just fien and for some reason, usually totally unknown, i start pigging out uncontrollably again.

It's not Jan 1, but i'm really in this renewing mind set these days.

My monthly adventure friends from ravelry are always a huge source of inspiration to me. A couple of friends, patricia and tasha, were talking about the fly lady, who i'd never heard of. I checked out the FL site, and i'm loving it! My house is staying cleaner, i'm decluttering (how serendipitous, i had jsut started decluttering and organizing my fiber stash the weeks before lol).
I feel a little more in control, and i'm learning to be more gentle and kind with my inner dialogue (FLY = finally love yourself), to let go of my all or nothing attitudes. This of course is much more far-reaching than a clean house.

A good friend of mine from the next town over mentioned a book that is having a lare impact on her. It's the 5 languages of love. I purchased the audio version and i listened to it while on a walk and just started balling, as all these realizations hit me. I'm so motivated to learn my love language, my husband's love language and the love languages of my children , so that i can communicate in a way that will let them fully understand the love behind my words, actions...
And also make sure i'm not communicating hurt unintentionally.
I cannot reccommend this book enough!

And weight loss - after being waylayed badly, my MA friends also got together and started a thread about losing weight and supporting one another. And there you go! Alittle fuel for me :D
I'm very sensitive to other people's comments (speaking of love languages, i am almost 100% sure that my love language is positive affirmation). One negativecomment can crush me for a whole week. And positive comments, well they do make me feel good but i think ive had so much my share of negative comments that they're not even making a dent into my hurt.
And all of my online WW friends kind of dwindled off so i was getting no positive reinforcement andencouragement that are so vital and meaningful to me.

So i'm very glad i will have my ravelry friends to go to for that encouragement :D

quote from the fly lady

2012-02-18T10:15:00.002+01:00

The born organized folks often looked at us in dismay because we could not do things the way they expected. Our inability to process Born Organized instructions does not make us stupid. Would we be ostracized if we spoke a different language?

We are creative people who just want to have fun. Our spontaneity can be an asset but it can also interfere... When we miss an appointment or an important event because we got sidetracked again; we feel guilty. This guilt becomes the roadblock to loving ourselves.

How many times have i missed an appointment? remember the pediatric nursing entrance exam i missed by a whole week?
I can never keep track of my bank account. I can not figure out how to organize and plan a wekly menu. i cant keep track of kids activity times ever! have to look on the info sheet from the beginning of the year every single time to remmeber what times their activities are.
I call myself laughingly (though feeling hurt inside the whole time) an airhead.
A loved one used to call me an educated idiot.
My husband is continually upset with me because i cant keep things straight.
Roadblack to accepting and loving myself? Hell, yeh! Feel guilty? Yes!!! a hundred times yes! inadequate too to be honest. inferior to other women who can keep track of everything and still look good (why do my clothes always look "débraillé"? i could iron my clothes right before iwalk out the door and id still look disshevelled :/)
Well. i guess imust just be creative. so there!

N is for

2012-01-19T09:33:00.004+01:00

Never not nitting

'nuff said? hehehe
no, really. i am compulsive about having something in my hands now. i love to knit and i'm about the most impatient person in the world. So knitting (while waiting in line at store, while waiting at doctor'soffice or while kids are at sport things or whatever... while watching tv...) is imperative. i love the feel and colors of the different yarns i use. i love the creative process pre-project where you're pouringthrough your stash, your library, ravelry data base, your ravelry Queue..., the beginning of the project when you're learning your yarn, the end product - seeing a pretty something you made all by yourself, gifting it or wearing it yourself...

i love it all...except thepart in the middle where i'm...yep, you guessed it, impatient!
impatient for it to be done and for me to get to start all over again withthe million patterns and yarns clamering for my attention. Which brings mein part to my next N

Ninkampoop

So why do i do this to myself?

I already feel overtaxed by a yarn stash that has reached epic proportions (fondly known as SABLE =stash acquisition beyond life expectancy) and overstimulated by soooo many things i want to knit that several things happen :

1 i feel guilty

2. i feel overwhelmed to the point of inability to move forward

3. i end up with a dozen ufo's (unfinished objects) that junk up my house and my mind and add to my frustration and inability to move forward andit turns into a big viscious cycle; and besides that that gorgeous yarn is just sitting there in a half finished state being unloved and unused.

4. i feel inadequate

5. i feel bereaved that i will never be able to use up all that gorgeous yarn before i die which has me all depressed about how old i am already

6. i fear moths
Now, let me just point out that this type of behavior is NOT limited to my knitting life but also holds over into my eating habits and my spending habits in general... :P

And yes i DO KNOW BETTER but again... i'm a ninkampoop

and i fall right into that viscious, down sucking spiral every time!

New beginnings

huh! after writing this post, i'm too depressed to think about this part...i'll be back ;)
Nostalgia

Feel it all the time and esp rightnow for some stupid reason. i love and miss my family soooo soooo much it is tearing me apart :(

ho-hum

So N... lots of things start with n but they all seem to suck right about now lol ;P

Episode 13

2011-12-22T20:31:00.004+01:00

You can listen here :
episode 13

Reach out :
still thinking of my friends - and another one added into the group. you're in my prayers and thoughts.
a big hug to julie in CA!!! :D
thank you to all of you who have given feed back suggestions ideas and comments :D

Off the needles :
3 projects that i started and finished since last podcast :

a dogbed for Easy made out of some waverly fabric i got from casapinka in a contest.
mitts for alex (= swatch for a sweater for remi). chimera by julie mueller out of debbie bliss baby cashmerino and noro yuken that i picked up at a lys (avant-après).
gorgeous green cowl = alana dakos' shawl collared cowl pattern out of dream in color groovy purchased at eat.sleep.knit.
kindle cozy by Jennifer Littlejohns

WIP it good :
Bobbie by Julia Mueller.
Have done a decent amount on Hakusa by Kirsten Johnstone.

You spin me right round :
played around with some fiber with Susie, a natural!
plying up burning bush polwarth

Book review:
SEW everything workshop as promised long ago :")

On my Ipod :
Swan Song by Robert McCammon - an apocolyptic tale of hope.

Bonne année!!!!!!

It's been a while

2011-12-08T13:22:00.003+01:00

I've been bogged under and havent been up to blogging, to talking, to, well...anything other thantrying to function day to day !
That said, i havefound the focus and energy to keep on keeping on with weight watchers. This time around, ive made it through 9 weeks in spite high anxiety moments (having a very rough time at work), anger issues (kids are really tring my patience), restaurants - these are all traditional plan-killers for me. but i've sailed passed them pretty well.
i have been gifting myself still for on point weeks, but that's really taking a toll on my bank account which is giving me more anxiety so it's a hard shot to call.
so far i have lost about 9 pounds :D
they just changed the points allowance which almost sabotaged everything for me mid-week last week :/ !
but this week i'm back on track. what happened is that i'm at the lowest number of alloted points (this is calculated depending on sex, height and weight and activity level). that sum was 29 points per day. Withthe new program that went down to 26 for me! 3 points lower per day!!!!! yikes. this is good though because they say you should lose between .5 and 2 pounds per week and that if you lose less, you need to make changes. my average weight loss per week is .3 so lowering points is probably a good thing for me; that said, lowering 3 per day is going to kill me andi'll end up throwing in the towel; so i manually changed my point allotment to be 28 for this week and maybe next and then will move to 27 if i hold out at 28 decently.
i have also started back on the couch to 5 k program; i started all over again. i'm hoping that 1. good shoes 2. special orthopedic soles and 3.9 less pounds on my frame will mean that my stupid plantar fascitis won't act up again! fingers crossed! i've completed week one and day one of week 2 :D!
i would like to reward myself hahahaha but as imentioned..;this "reward" thing isnt healthy for my account ;)
so besides crapola work, positive life-style changes, parenting difficulties...what else is going on?
I'm really really really missing my family and friends :/
Love you guys!

Episode 12

2011-12-02T21:05:00.009+01:00

You can listen here :
episode 12

Reach out :
bigbigbig hugs for a couple of friends who are going throgh rough and/or tiring and/or trying times. you know who you are.
and special thoughts for jane and her family and for caroline and her dh as they acclimate to their new environments.
thank you to all of you who have given feed back suggestions ideas and comments :D
and doh! i just found itunes comments hehehehe
thank you for those comments as well!
and my two winners : craftylady and lauknits, i havent forgotten you. just crazy busy and a little frazzled.

Off the needles :
I finished sewing an advent calandar for a Christmas swap. And i sent it off without taking pics 8^O!!!
And a cute sewing notions bag for my swap partner as well with the most darling christmas owl fabric ever!
I finished the Terpander socks designed by Melissa Morgan-Oakes.

WIP it good :
Plugging away at Bobbie by Julia Mueller.
Started Hakusa by Kirsten Johnstone known for her rombus wrap from ori ami knits

You spin me right round :
finished spinning up singles of polwarth. trying to decide how i want to ply.
I recently plied up a catastrophe and it's kind of got me blocked and disppointed and unmotivated to even swatch it for the project i had intended the yarn for.

Up and coming :
Swatch caps on the needles in prevision for a sweater for Rémi and one for me.
Book review for SEW everything workshop as promised long ago :")

In the spotlight :
WOW! Look at this list of podcasts! A lovely friend i met on ravelry, 1to1
296 friends and 296 groups. lol!

On my Ipod :
Knitajourney with Susan Dolph
Currently doing a series on permaculture.

Ma vie en France :
If you cant say somethin' nice dont say nuthin' at all.
So.....
Let's not go there right now ; P

Parlez - vous français :
(thank you for the suggestion, Laurie, knitnhappy)
Today we learn the word for "to knit", talk about how to conjugate -er verbs, and learn some of the derivatives from"tricoter".

...............................Singular .........................Plural
1st person..............Je tricote...................... Nous tricotons
2nd person............ Tu tricotes................... Vous tricotez
3rd person............. Il / Elle / On tricote... Ils/ Elles tricotent

Epsiode 11 : Singing in the Rain

2011-11-06T11:17:00.002+01:00

reach out

Hi to suzie

thank God for knitting groups

congratulations to laurence lauknits and denise craftylady

work in progress en français?

ma vie en france

rain rain go away

changes = craziness

off the needles

quasi mystery tam by kerrie james

wip it good

terependar socks by melissa morgan-oakes from the sock knitting masterlcass book by ann budd. made out of sanguine gryphon bugga

bobbie gloves by julia mueller made out of hand dyed by bumper on signature needles.

Facial phenomena

2011-10-13T11:25:00.002+02:00

I love me a little alliteration ;)
So! I got my eyebrows and my facial done yesterday.
It was really nice as the facial included a 10 min back massage before getting started to help relax you andput you in the rightframe of mind. And then while the mask was doing its thing, they offer you a little foot massage.
The back massage was absolutely heavenly.
The foot massage not so much - too rushed. Kind of like just putting lotion on and there you go, you know...
The facial itself was ok. Nice products. Did a great job of hydrating my skin and giving me a nice radiant natural glow. But the massage sucked a little there too. the lady kept pinching my nostrils together on the down strokes (i cnat breath ;P ) and pig-nosing my nose on the upward strokes (uh...that was my nose)
i mean, my nose isnt that big...i know she has to deal with facial topography on a daily basis so what gives lol!
anyhow, it was still lovely to lay back andget pampered. and good Lord my eyebrows look so much better. and you know, having a nice frame for your eyes really changes your "look" in general.
I feel so much better, feel better baout how i look, and my skin feels healthier so i reckon i can only say that this was a success.
And i have had about every woman i walk past here at work tell me how nice i look today even though i'm in my nursing uniform today : D
Yeah for sticking to my goals and double yeah for my reward ;)
I've decided on my week 2 award if i make it through and i'm pretty darn sure i will because it's thursday and my weigh-in is on sunday so i have 2.5 more daysto stick to my guns on this week's points :D
Soooooooo.... if i make it i'm giong to get myself a pair of signature needles - i've been wanting to try themfor ages but they are super expensive so i never have!
i'll let you guys know how lovely they are ; )

Weight Watchers take bazillion

2011-10-10T11:21:00.000+02:00

I'm at it again.
Just cant seem to get past week 2. Week one goes ok and then bammo...
week 2 ends in a food orgie and self-loathing
So I've decided to gift myself every week i meet my challenges.
Week one's challenge was to stick with the program. Take before pictures. track daily.
Done!!!
And i just made an appointment for my self-gift :D
Wednesday morning I will get my eyebrows done and a facial :D
woot woot!!!!!
For next week I think my gift might be a pedicure...?
We'll see
Got to get there first!

Episode 9

2011-10-03T15:05:00.000+02:00

This episode's segments include :
WIP it good
Still working on Benoit's sweater. Oh my goodness! I think I will have knit this guy 3 times by the time it's done! I obviously can't read.

Last time i mentioned a project I was working on but hadn't planned on doing and then forgot to talk about it! doh! It's the mystery crescent shawl by Susanna IC. aka zuzusus

Here's a link for a tutorial by Laura Nelkin explaining how to bead in knitting with dental floss. I use a bead knotted at the bottom to keep my beads on the floss instead of the knot, which often will not be large enough to keep beads from sliding off.

I'm making it out of Road to China light 8^O!!!!!!!!!

And I'm still chugging along on Taygete that I also forgot to mention.

Off my needles
I finished Alex' asymmetrical cables socks.
I love me a good cookie ; )
You spin me right round
Still working on my polwarth from the Counting Sheep Farm on Etsy. I share with you what I've found out about this fiber and why it reminded me of merino yet seemed easier to spin.
A l'étude
This is a new segment where i can share things I've learned, am learning with you. Don't hesitate to send in any questions. In today's "à l'étude", I talk about short rows. Thank you for your question Bowerbird and good luck on those soakers!
In the spotlight
I mentioned Kerrie James' pictorial tutorial on caring for your wheel last time. Today I mention her again - there's a lot of exciting things going on over on her blog! A Channel Island Cast-on tutorial to accompany her quasi-mystery tam
A new podcast by Christina (tini)from germany (in english)
And another podcast non-knitting related that's been around for a while - Word on Fire on Itunes, by Father Robert Barron, a Catholic Evangelist.
On my Ipod
The Widowers Tale by Julia Glass
Ideosphere

Thank you for stopping by! Come back next time for a sewing book review.

M is for

2011-09-12T10:43:00.003+02:00

major mess-ups :P and making amends :D

So i have been knitting a cabled vest for the baby of a good friend of mine. i plan on knitting a matching one for his brother too.
I decided to knit the back in plain stockinette b/c 1. who's gonna see it on a baby anyway - he's always laying down lol 2. ease for me as i wanted this done relatively quickly and 3. baby doesnt want dimension under his back while napping.
Well. I do of course know cables draw in but that much????? the back is 4 inches wide than the front 8^O !!! And apparently i cant count because it is also about 10 rows shorter than the front.
The front is very pretty.
I was thinking of doing the magic splice trick on the back but that would only fix the length, not the width.
Enter the friends. I asked Katia who is an excellent knitter and always full of great advice on finishing techniques. She said what i knew deep down but didnt want to face - you're going to have to rip out the back and start over if you want this to look nice. Period! I have made peace withthis but have not been able to actually take the step and do it- i plan on doing that tonight. Wish me luck.

I am also knitting some socks for Alex. Well, actually they were supposed to be for me because my kids and dh cannot appreciate handknit socks. But that was mess-up number 1 : no gauge swatch (i mean, they're socks, come on! by the time you knit a swatch you're already done withthe leg almost lol), and mess-up number 2 : no measuring. These are mess-ups though that arent a big deal because Alex did say she likes them and would gladly wear them - but only to keep her feet warm at night, not in shoes. I like the idea of her wearing them while camping with the scouts and having a nice "hug" from mom keeping her warm all night.
So i was knitting along and well, can i jsut say i'm a lazy knitter? I mean, if i make a mistake i usually leave it. I'mnot a maniac about it as long as the construction or look isnt affected by it. I mean who can see that you fudged a st here and there to get the st count right? lol
so i made an error that i ignored and fudged, and another and another and another... until i just wanst at all happy withthat sock and didnt want to work on it anymore. Here's another lazyness in my knitting life. I usually toss such bad offenders in a corner and never take them out again but thank goodness i'm knitting these as a kal with a friend so i felt obligated to not relegate them to the UFO bin. I instead spent a morning ripping back all of the gusset shaping to the bottom of the heel and starting over again. I learned from my errors and have since gotten past where i originally was and am liking them much more!

And finally Alex' dress. Oh my goodness what have i gotten myself in to! :P
so i'm working on bodice. I sewed it completely together (it's lined) in such a way that i could not turn it back right side out so i had to painstakingly unstitch the shoulder seams responsible for the inside out garment and then imagine my horror when i did get it right side out and found that the edges were all wonky and wierd and wouldnt lay flat. grrrrrr!!!! and no idea what to do to fix it. let's not even talk about the fact that i cut out the skirt lining without adding the seam allowance - i might not ever make it that far anyway ;)
so, this saturday, i asked the most knowledgeable and accomplished sewist i know, isabelle what she thought. Apparently the solution isnt too bad; i need to trim the seams and then crint it much more. I will try that out over the next few days and see if it helps. if itdoes, i will move forward. if it doesnt, i'm going to abandon this project. it's killing my sewing. By the time i finish this thing, Alex will be too big for it :P

Thank goodness for friends. :D
I just wish i could see them more often (the ones irl or the online one) ;P
and that includes YOU :D

Inspired

2011-09-08T14:21:00.004+02:00

A lovely friend of mine took the time out to create an excellent tutorial, with informative step by step detailed instructions illustrated with pictures. Kerrie is very thourough in all she tackles. And this tutorial is no exception. She inspired me to get my wheels out and give them a tune up. I've alwys felt intimidated to do that as i dont know much about my wheels or how to care for them on a day to day basis. I got both of them used (probably 3rd or 4th hand even) and while in good shape, they have no instructions with them and one of them i dont even know what it is.
I listened to a podcaster talk about oiling everything that moves (i dont remember who it was, sorry) so i have done that on the one i use all the time. the other one just sits there. until very recently it didnt even turn right. dh fixed that prob ( it was a footman thing) but he also "fixed" the driveband...ho-hum! it's a double drive and he saw the cord someone "had been too lazy to cut to dimension so they just looped it around twice and in doing it they even crossed the cord". DOH! so i have used it a couple of times as a single drive but i can tell it would be a pretty well-tuned lady if she were fixed up correctly.
Anyhow, thanks to Kerrie's "list of materials" i got everything out and ready. Then, following her step by step instructions, i got them both all tuned up.
I'm now motivated to work on the drive band too. that will be tomorrow i think.
and i've test-driven my louet s10.
She spins so smoothly and noiselessly now :D
thanks Kerrie!!!!!!

L is for

2011-08-29T09:13:00.003+02:00

Love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Co 13: 4-8
Love is all we need. Let's strive daily for love. Let's let lve be the guidefor all our choices. I try to remember this daily though i fail all the time, because i am human, i am not perfect. I am selfish and impatient (i think the two are inextricably entwined) and i think those are my true nemesis - what i really need to pray about and battle.
But even as i fail, the impetus is always there, so hope is always there.
What does love mean to you?
Do you feel loved? (The Bible says God loves us, so you are loved, but I know I for one find that hard to believe sometimes. But it's not because we dont always believe something that it's not true.)
Have you shown someone love today?
What did you do to show them love?
I'm interestedin hearing (reading ;) ) what your thoughts are on love, loving, being loved.
If you're reading this, you're friend or family.
And friend/family member, I love you :D
Have a great day!

Episode 8 : SOMEbody's grumpy

2011-08-27T09:37:00.002+02:00

Episode 8

Shout outs:
Thanks to Tasha and Julie for their chemo caps.
Thanks to Jane and Caroline for the lovely evenings in London.
Rethanks to Isabelle for Sew Serendipity.
Incentive : leave a comment here, in the group, pm me on ravelry, join the group... to be entered in the drawing for a prize package.

Off the needles:
Elphaba
Lots of spinning
Lacey cabled cell phone cozy by terra laklare
Beware of dragons by Holly Marie
Crocheted dog sweater (made-up pattern)

WIP it good:
A very pleasant little sock mystery designed by purr
Taygete by Rosemary Hill
Innsmouth bodice by Elizbeth Helmich

On my Ipod
The Color Purple by Alice Walker = outstanding!

In the Spotlight
Knit knit Café podcast

Book Review
Men's knits by erika night

Hope you enjoy it :D

K is for

2011-08-09T13:01:00.002+02:00

did you guess it yet?
KNITTING
i know! how surprising!

well, what might surprise you is i've been dealing with some mojo issues. as in, it was gone.
I think i've figured out what killed it. i tackled a bodice styled tank. i was thinking, hey, no sleeves...so even if the patterning is verrrry complex (i like the mind numbinging ease and relaxation and default setting of stockinette in the round and flat garter stitch - laziness? maybe. but i like to be able to do it while zoning out) i should be able to make it through anyway since it would be over before i got started right? ha!
add to his that 2 of my latest finished projects were sweaters knit in fingering weight yarn which means they just went on and on and on (why, yes, i do have big boobs, why do you ask?) and youcan imagine that i was feeling a little over-stretched and in need of some instant gratification.

Well, in comes hogwarts at ravelry. i spent about 3 weeks agravating said mojo problem feeling overwhelmed with all the 'homework assignements" feeling i needed to do eery single one and also not realising you could use the same project for several assignments. i was so overwhelmed that i was frozen up and couldnt CO anything.

I have moved âst my mojo probs you will be happy to know. With a few quick and easy projects :
a dragon hat for chemo dept
a cell phone cozy for alex for her birthday that i should finish tonight
and spinning up some unicorn hair (shhhh... dont tell anyone at hogwarts that it is really only lincoln top)
and CO a beautiful shawl whose whole center panel is glorious garter stitchknit from side to side which means 2 CO st and 2 BO st! woot woot!!!

Still feel i dont have enough time in the day to knit all that's percolating in my brain though 8^O !

J is for

2011-07-27T19:19:00.002+02:00

Jogging
Was actually coming to blog about c2 5 k progress but have been thinking about how far behind i am in the alphabet (k was for monday and it's now wednesday). so this all came together quite nicely.
Of course you could argue that jogging has nothing to do with my crafty endeavors. i beg to differ. if it werent for my sedentary hobbies, my rear wouldnt have spread so much ;)
see the way it all comes together if you try to make it lol!

So, for those who havent been keeping up, i'm doing the couch to 5 k program again. you can follow the first trials and tribulations if you go back 2 or 3 years in my blog (hehehehe - how's that for being a lazy hostess :") )
This go round seems to be easier which is crazy because i'm older and bigger :P
Maybe it's because i was going into it knowing i could do it because i had before?
Whatever the reason, i'm going right through the program with no big hiccups. This plan really is amazing because it really does help you go from couch potato, incapable of running 5 yards without huffing and puffing to being able to jog 5 km in 9 weeks (maybe a little more if you feel you need to do a week over).
This go round, the summer holidays have made it rough on my keeping with the schedule so i've had two spouts where i missed about 2 weeks of jogging (this past week ended a 3 week spout of no jogging!!! yikes! So i did go back and do week 5 over both of those tiems. Today was my getting back into the swing of things with W5D1 and i was really nervous because it has been so long and because i have gained back all the weight i had lost (save 1 pound :/ ) on weight watchers. But i did it! and i did it well! rem came with me on his bike so he could gauge my "speed" haha - using speed and rebecca in the same sentence is quite funny ...
Anyhow, the 1st segment of my running i did awesome!!!! i was at 10.5 km:hour! :D but by the last segment i was at 8.5 :P
OK, so more later with "k"
any guesses on that one mrahahahahaha

I is for irritated

2011-07-12T08:01:00.002+02:00

Irritated i'm a week behind in the alphabet. not like it matters because i can no longer make my posts link up to the accidental knitters alphabet page anyway so i'm just doingit on my own.

But really i'm irritated because icant manage to get an episode of my podcast out. i recorded 6 times! and EVERY SINGLE TIME something happened to the recording. how many different ways can a recording get lost/ messed up/ unknowingly not recorded, unknowingly unrecorded...
And to top it all of, now my iPod totally gave up the ghost. I cant even listen to my audiobooks or other podcasts! And the cherry on the cake, our internet went out! i'm taking a few minutes at work :"/ to update :P !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IRRITATED!!!!!!!!!!

H is for

2011-07-05T09:25:00.002+02:00

Harry Potter!
I LOVE Harry Potter - the books, the movies, the magical universe, the way the first book in the series is so light and innocent and they evolve in such a compelling manner, so the last of the septology is a far cry from the magical merriment of the beginnings.
I love thecharacter development. I love the ambiguity. I love the fun. i lvoe the good and evil dichotomy played out so blatantly here but with blurred lines around some of thecharacters (Professor Snape for example - i think he is one of my favorite characters) I love that LOVE is a central, unifying liet-motif that has the ultimate power in these books to metamorphosize.

The 2nd part of the 7th book is about to come out at the movies! YEAH! Just hate i'll have to see it in french for the first time. oh well....

And i just joined hogwarts at ravelry :D i got sorted into gryffindor :D
there are a lot of fun nice women inthe group. and i'm the owlry caretaker lol!
bad thing is there's so much going on over there and i of course feel i have to participate in everything... balance! must remember balance!

H is also for HUGS that i send to every one of you :D

thank you to my american family for taking care of Rémi and loving on him :D

Back on track

2011-07-03T10:46:00.003+02:00

Ugh! i've been NOT doing my weight watchers as i should for about 5 weeks, culminated by a week in london pigging out bad (7 donuts in 3.5 days???!!!)
and 11 days no exercise.

SCRAAAATCH...let's start over! lol!
i'm still 1.6 pounds lighter than wheni first started on april 3. so, let's just pretend that i hadnt at one point been at - 7.6 pounds. i can get there again if i jsut set my mind to it and power through, right?

today i got out there and jogged though i did go back to week 5 day 1 instead of doing week 6 day 2 as i "should" have. i was a little worried the extra weight and lack of practice kick my butt. i did it just fine and am feeling quite proud of myself. i even made it up two mega-hills :D.

So here's to take.... 1000? ohwell, who's counting ;)

C2 5k

2011-06-22T19:40:00.002+02:00

Still trugging along. I imagined myself as a friend of mine (priveknits, Hedge) said she did as a "real jogger" lol and it actually worked - i felt like i was a great jogger for the first minute of each new jog section, then i fell into poor form, huffing and puffing. But for one minute, i felt like i looked good and i think i did ;)
I did it and that rocks!

G is for God

2011-06-21T08:57:00.003+02:00

My ravelry name and blog name (rebeccaWIP) refers to work in progress. Very appropriate because double entente for me.
If you're a crafter you are already familiar with wip's. These are projects we've been dreamnig of, laboring over, petting, loving, creating one stitch at a time. We've planned it out, thought about it incessantly, turned it over in our minds, swatched for it... how many hours in each project? And we love every bit of it - the feel of the yarn, the drape of the fabric,the lines, the details. And they're all so different.

I was raised southern baptist. I heard fire and brimstone preacing from the get-go. You have to be good to go to heaven is what i heard (was it what was preached or just my interpretation?) I never could mesure up - i have mean thoughts, i'm impatient and selfish and short-tempered (where's the love in that) . I'm an emotional time-bomb and an emotional eater (neither show that christian characteristic of self-control). I am not understanding with my own short-comings or with the short-comings of those closest to me, who need me to support, encourage and build them up more than anyone. I cannot mesure up. I will never be good enough.
The message i heard at the methodist church i went to as a teenager wasnt at all hell and damnation like that. But it was very social and fun. Not really getting down deep into ...well, anything.
Then i wentoff to college. And took an honor's class on world religion from greek mythology to judeo-christianity. I should have known better with a title like that. We had to read the whole bible and several greek plays. The teacher, an obvious atheist, was putting Christianity on the same basis as mythology. And he tore the bible apart for us. This contradicts this, which contradicts this and that. And here this repeats itself which is stupid and there yada yada... By the end of the semester when i went home for Christmas I was a mess! I sat behind the pulipt crying my eyes out because i was so confused. My granddaddy found me back there and never asked what was wrong but just held me. Geez! Now i'm crying. Anyway, between the confusion I felt as a child and now this, you can imagine my inner turmoil. Not to mention all the questions we ask ourselves... 'why would God let that happen' 'If that person is a believer why did he [fill in the blank]? did he not pray as hard as he should have?' 'if that person is a Christian then why is he acting like that?' etc...
My faith has always floundered. So why not just call myself an atheist or an agnostic and be done with it?
There have been times in my life when i know that God was there helping me through. When I became pregnant and Christophe and I broke up, I was surrounded by love from my sisters and my bff and even strangers who God put in my path. When I prayed night after night balling my eyes out that Christophe and I would get back together against all odds. And since then, since i've been back here, i feel He has provided me with Christian friends at just the right times.
One of those Christian friends started a bible study about 7 years back. We kept on for a few years before our little group of 4 women kind of drifted apart to my great chagrin.
One study we did just happened to correspond to the time I started crafting and blogging. And I came across this verse :
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Ph 1:4-6

It really struck me strongly at the time. I felt encouraged to know that God was working lovingly in me as my creator kind of like i work on my projects. I've been learning about a different God than the one i grew up "knowing". This one is loving, caring, merciful, forgiving.

So maybe I'm not perfect and never will be. That's where God's grace and mercy come in.
Maybe I've been a horrible mother and Christian. That's where forgiveness covers it over.
Maybe my faith in all of these things is shot. Well...that's the hic-up right there. That's what's been holding me back all these years.

I recently found some other Christian friends and we're reading a book together called battlefield of themind by joyce meyer, and discussing it once a week. And i think I'm beginning to "figure" that last part out. God is true to His word but if I'm not yielding myself to Him, He cant work in me.

This may sound wierd, confusing, esoteric, cheesy, silly, out there, whatever, but what I'm getting at is I'm God's work in progress.
But I just wish He'd get on with it ; )

F is for

2011-06-20T15:51:00.002+02:00

Oh come on, that's too easy!
The F bomb. Yep, it's true. That one slips out quite often when itcomes to my sewing especially but sometimes knitting and crocheting and spinning get it too.
And i hit myself over the head with it every once in a while after some crazed usage of my credit card on an online yarn store. DOH!

I also of course thought of "frogging" but, really...that's for others. My wip's just get the F bomb and either get shoved in a drawer or i just decide to FUDGE it (that's another great f word for me ;) ) and leave the error in situ. come on, it's just knitting. no one's going to die from it and i wont get arrested ;)

Have a grreat day :D

c 2 5 k

2011-06-19T11:49:00.002+02:00

I havent quit. Just havent been posting. Not quite as motivated with stupid weight watchers :P
havent been doing well so weight went up and now it's kind of leveled off. i havent gained it all back but about half of what i lost which is so discouraging !!!!
i really wish i could get back on track but i do for one or two days then blow it again :'(
grrrr!!!!

That said, ive been pushing hrough with my jogging in training. Today's session had me jog a whole 20 minutes non-stop. 8^O
I made it! though idont know how!
i sooooo didnt want to go because my stupid bras (yes bras, i wear 2 - one comfy undrewired normal one and on top of that a sports bra) were absolutely constricting me like a BOA!!!! i swear i couldnt breath!!!! i couldnt ewpand my lungs fully. used to happen to me all the time when i "ran" before but hasnt done that to me yet since i started up this time. but today! ugh!!! why on earth does it do that? i cant think it's weight or water-weight. why would it localise around my ribs? whateveh...
that had me really really not wantin gto go but i loaded up some of my cd's on to itunes then onto my ipod, got remi to come with me and then headed out! and i did it!!!!!!!
yeah me!:!!!!!

the other day alex came with em and she jogged almost the whole time i did (she is in track and field so she's used to it but still she's only 10.5! ) i was so proud of her.
more later

Episode 7 : Nuppin ' around

2011-06-13T09:15:00.002+02:00

Show notes
Shout out
Congratulations Slipping Linknitter and Georgiedean! You have won your choice of a Leftsideknits pattern . Just PM me on ravelry or leave a comment here to let me know your choice.
Marie is doing great.

WIP it good
Still working on Elphaba.
Resurrected Urdr by Anna Dalvi from the depths of my UFO chest.
Got happy with my Happyhappyjoyjoy
Cut out Alex' dress.

On my Ipod
Check out this great new podcast by Isabelle.

Ma vie en France
I talk about my LYS : it's layout, contents, and friendly neighborhood saleslady :D

Challenge-along
Hello hello hello hello. anyone there there there there?????

Hope you enjoy! Please feel free to leave me any feedback :D
Thanks for listening!

E is for

2011-06-05T19:52:00.005+02:00

ELPHABA!!! desgined by Mary Annarella
My current love affair.
I've been spending so much time with her over the past month. For a while it was every waking hour (not occupied by my pesky daytime job ;P or silly things like housecleaning and cooking).
We were really close and i was blinded by love. I loved every thing about her. The yarn (schaeffer yarns heather in thistle), the construction, the pattern (a VERY WELL WRITTEN pattern and TUTORIAL!), the projexcts i saw on ravelry...
Lately though things are starting to get well, burnished, as is bound to happen with love affairs. You know, noticing little things like puckered stitches, mess-ups, a painstakingly small gauge (oh at first that's why i loved her so much, but on a day to day basis... well, you know, it gets annoying) the way i have to switch out her d*** skeins all the time (handpainted yarn = each skein is quite different :P ).
I've noticed i'm not knitting as much. I dont feel like it.
I have been having a few little slings with sewing on the sly, but nothing serious.
I mostly am just kind of restless, nervous about upcoming travel plans, super busy spending hours on end on the stupid computer trying to firm up said plans... I just dont have the energy to mess with it.
But I so want to finish it because it's gorgeous.
To be honest i'm having misgivings about the short row bust shaping. I've been there before. Done it on other sweaters but this one is so special i just don't want to mess her up and my wrap and turns can sometimes be kind of sloppy. I'm at the point where i need to start them actually.
Oh that Elphie. She's a live one alright ; )!
Check out other E posts in the accidental knitter's abc'athon :D!

WW week

2011-06-05T17:10:00.006+02:00

9 ......9 .......................9..............9
I'm starting to tire of this. Tracking E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. I put in my mouth. Stressing about points. Tryin gto make healthy choices.
Put like that, come on... not a big deal right??? I SHOULD be making healthy choices! But 36 (hey! lay off it, i'm NOT 37 yet!!!!) years of eating poorly and eating anything i want anytime i want (though definitely beating myself up over it and punishing myself over it) is hard to give up :(
I feel frustrated and wanting to eat more. My daughter asked if she could make a surprise for snack all by herself. She got pretty much all the way through without my help but she called me in at the cooking part...It was donuts!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!! I LOVE donuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arrrrghhhh!!! torture!!!!! I had a small messed up one.
Back to her cooking. She did great but she didnt understand that cooking the donuts in un bain de friture meant cooking them in oil ; she tried to cook them in boiling water. That's when she called me in to help. I thought, hmmmm... healthy option? Uh, no... only good to feed to the chickens lol!
So here i am making zuccini chocolate chip muffins and cake aux courgettes because our garden started producing a mother load of zuccini all of a sudden. And having donuts under my nose. and just wanting to giv ein and bury my face in it. I want to cry!
So instead, i threw a zero coke in the freezer so it will get cold and slushy quickly and i'm looking forward to that. In the meantime, i'm going to vaccum and mop and clean the toilets to stay out of the kitchen. :(
I have been continuing with my couch to 5 k. I just started week 4 today.
That's going ok but i can tell i'm losing my motivation and i'm not jogging as well or as "quickly" hahaha as i was.
I need some motivation. But the darn scales are NOT cooperating! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

D is for

2011-05-30T09:10:00.003+02:00

Dianne <3

I considered briefly doing Donegal tweed just to be a smart-a**
And then i considered donuts because i love donuts! i mean really love 'em! even more than knitting if you can believe that. i'll be going to london in a few weeks and weight watchers or not, yuo better believe my first stop is gonna be krispy kream! yes!!!!!!!!!! But donuts don't really have much to do with knitting. So, Dianne, you should feel really special to know you rank right up there with yarn and donuts ; D

So, D is for Dianne...
Dianne is my oldest sistah!

I love her to death. I admire and respect her. She is a mentor, a role-model, and a teacher to me. A friend. A counselor. Someone I trust. Someone I know will tell me what I need to hear (even if i know italready deep down but dont want to admit). Someone I can count on. I copy her allthe time ;P but hey, imitation is after all the highest form of flattery, right? lol

She has influenced me in my crafting life enormously.
The whipsy airy black spiderweb growing off of her circs absolutely amazed me! She mentioned her ambiguity towards crafting in her C post. And i had always remembered that (i crocheted while she was in art school) so i had been shocked and surprised to see her knitting. But when i saw how beautiful her beginning of a shawl was i could definitely understand.
That was the first time i had seen any interest in knitting. She showed me knitting was not just for blankets.

And i believe it was then that she took me to her LYS to show me that not all wool was scratchy.
She bought me some alpaca and wooden needles and got me started on knitting a scarf.
I left for france though and it never really got any farther. She taught me to appreciate fine materials.

On another trip and again, i cant remember the chronology of it all, she let me fondle her huge stash and even pick something out of it to make a sweater out of crochet today! it was a gorgeous bamboo blend. I had never crocheted anything not flat and was very intimidated but she said, you can do this! You already know how to read patterns, just follow the directions! She nurtured a growing love of my craft, introduced me to aspects of crocheting i had never imagined - even though she doesnt crochet, and gave me the courage to break through my hang-ups.

She also talked to me about knittinghelp.com and ravelry. From there, let me tell you! My knitting skills, which had been pretty much non-existant til then in spite of Dianne's attempting to taach me another time, really exploded.
Let me just add, this lack of ability to knit after Dianne teaching me, does not reflect poorly on her teaching skills. She is an excellent teacher and enabler. She has taught maaaaany kids including her 2 daughters and a niece and many adults also to knit. I just had some problems with coordination. She opened the door-way to endless knowledge and inspiration in the knitting/crocheting world.

And all this in spite of the fact that we live an ocean apart!
She continues to share knowledge with me : color, fiber, techniques. And now that i'm taking up sewing, she's already helped me there too via skype lol!

Thank you Dianne! You are more special to me than you will ever know!
I just wish i could somehow be as much of a blessing to you.
Love you!

Check out others' D's with the accidental knitter's abc-along.

C2 5K W3D1

2011-05-29T10:56:00.002+02:00

That wierd licence plate charabia means couch to 5 k week 3 day 1...
So...I did it!
I skipped week 2.
You may remember i was doing W1 kind of wierdly - I wanted to jog to music so i had loaded my ipod up with songs, alternating a upperbeat and a slower paced song to keep me on track to the jog/walk sequences.
But i found a C2 5K app today :D AWESOME!! Best 3 bucks i've spent; And i think I'll upgrade for an extra 99 cents in order to get the gps, which should let me know and track speed and distance :D
This app is awesome! it lets you listen to any music you want (or book or podcast or whatever) while at the same time giving you audio signals to "dong Run" or "dong Walk".
I highly recommend it to any of you who are doing the C2 5K right now or who are thinking of doing it. the down side of this is that you're spendin 3 bucks on something you wont need after 9 weeks ( the length of the program). Though if you upgrade, i dont see why you couldnt continue to use the app's gps function.
Back to my skipping week 2...
Thing is, songs are not typically 1 minute long, so my W1 had me running longer spurts than even week 3 yet i didnt want to skip to W 4. So I just started with W3. My performance wasnt great today. I didnt jog as fast or as smoothly or as well even though the spurts of jogging were less than i had been doing.
We had guests last night so were up late, had a heavy (non WW worthy) meal, and then this morning Rémi's friend who was staying over woke us up at 6:30. I think any and all of these reasons might explain it lol...
As for my non WW worthy meal, i did count all the points at least, so it's kosher. I still have 17 weekly points left.

Episode 6 show notes

2011-05-25T18:32:00.004+02:00

Shout outs
i mention the beautiful isabelle, kittystiches, and her gorgeous birthday dress, lovely blog, and skills extraordinaire
i mention the lovely, talented, and charming casapinka and the awesome Waverly fabric giveaway she had.
Off the needles
I actually finished the naughty secretary skirt
and i finished roxanne (sorry for the croaking)
WIP it good
I'm still plugging away on Elphaba while listening to wicked (and not wicked witch of the west like i said several times in the podcast)
and trying to learn to enjoy spinning merino fiber with the happyhappyjoyjoy colorway
In the Spotlight
I talk about a wonderful friend,Sulkycat who recently charmed the socks off me with her birthday beth and who makes and sells wonderful knitting bags, cute brooches and my favorite stitch markers - see for yourself in her artfire store
On my Ipod:
I recently finished listening to beloved
Challenge-along
so who's up for it? enter your project and let's go for it!
I'll be working on Alex' dress (sewn).

WOOTWOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-05-25T09:37:00.002+02:00

Do you know, i'm jsut now internalizing that i'm starting this whole couch to 5k thing almost 2 years to the day later 8^O

So i just got out there and did session 2 of week one today.
Easy peasy :D
WOOTWOOT!!!!!

And guess what!? Today was weigh-in and.... I hit goal :D (there are smaller attainable goals set up on "my plan" to help you stay motivated along the way). The first goal that they suggest, and that i went with, is to lose 5 % of your starting weight. For me, that was 7 pounds. And i did it :D !!!!! WOOTWOOT!!!!!!!!!!

My new goal was suggested for me today : - 10 % of my starting weight. So i accepted that as thenext step in my weight loss journey. When i get to -10% i will be just into the healthy weight zone for my height, build, gender, age :D In other words i will officially be no longer overweight :D But my real goal is to lose a little more (118 pounds = 53.5 k) to be in the middle of the healthy weight zone instead of at the upper end of it.

If i keep up the same rythm of weight loss, i can get to -10 % by mid-july.
and my treat to myself when i get down to - 10 %... I'm chopping off my hair and going platinum again :D or maybe a firey rusty color. I have over a month to decide :D
hey, how about some votes :D rust or platinum.
here's some older pics to help you decide :

or

These pictures range from jan to june 2008 (the blond is later in the year) which is the last time i managed to lose so much weight - but this weight loss was depression induced (right after i found out DH had been cheating on me, remember that? i do :^P )
but i really felt super confident in myself when i had my hair like that! really!!!! but maybe it was the wieght more than the hair? who knows, i just remember feeling good about my self. actually, it might have been the prozac roflol...

C is for

2011-05-23T13:52:00.005+02:00

CASHMERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's week 3 in the accidental knitter's ABC'athon.

I do promise that i will not blabber on about yarn and fiber in every single post though that's what i've done for B and now C and what i will do for A(hmmm..wonder what that could be ;) if i manage to squeeze that one in :")

Thing is, well, i LOVE fiber!!!

And last week i was talking about butter-y fiber. Well, the thing is my butteriest favorite is cashmere. You can't talk about buttery fibers without mentioning cashmere.

It started with cashmerino by debbie bliss that i picked up to make a hat because i was able to get it in my lys (unbelievable!) and because it wasnt very expensive.

It was pure heaven to work with! I mean it!!!! So lovely it was amazing!

Then i purchased rapture by squoosh fiberarts from eat.sleep.knit. This stuff was even more incredible. I jsut cant say enough good things about it. so soft, such a dream to work with, the merino added in means it has a lot of memory and behaves pretty much like you'd expect wool to behave, the silk makes it so lustrous but the cashmere, man! it just makes it soooooooo soft! and sooooooo warm and comfy!
i absolutely love the sweater i made out of it.

I should say C is for crack. cashmere is my crack.

thing is i'm spoiled now and want everything i make now to have cashmere in it :"D

Woot woot :D

2011-05-22T11:13:00.002+02:00

Two years ago i started the couch to 5 k program.
I remember it being verrrry hard for me! I remember pushing forward thinking my 1 minute jog would never end but being so proud of myself when i actually did it.
I logged it over the next few blogs after that week 1 if you're interested.
I went back and looked through them - i had totally forgot i had been giving myself a present at the end of every successful week lol! i dont think i'll do that this time because i am BROKE lol!
Anyhow, i had managed to get through the program and ran 3 times 30 mminutes every week for a while but then started my stupid crapp-o computerisation of medical files job and got out of the rythm.
then DH ran a 10k in november of 2009 and i decided to up the rythm to train for the next year's 10k. Bad idea... i provoked a bad inflammation of the plantar fascii and limped for months afterward :P.

Well, my feet are better now and i had decided to redo the program as a gift to myself when i hit the -5% mark in weight watchers. but i just cant seem to get there!!! and i'm anxious to start so ... i started ;D

It went so much better than the first time even though i'm no lighter and 2 years older and a bad foot problem in. i think it has to do with the mindset. I did it once, so i knew i could do it again.
I loaded up my ipod so i would have one upbeat jogging session song then one calmer recovery session song.
For week 1, it should be 60 seconds jogging 90 seconds fast paced walking back and forth for a total of 20 minutes. it's hard to find 60 second songs so i actually did 120 seconds jog and 120 seconds walk back and forth.
Here's my playlist for week 1 :
secret place from dakini lounge album for warm up
jolly roger by adam and the ants = jog 1
in the devil's snare from harry potter sound track = recovery 1
deee-lite theme from world click album = jog 2
prologue from harry potter sound track = recovery 2
london bridge by fergie = jog 3 (this one was almost 4 minutes 8^0)
intro from destiny's child the writing's on the wall = recovery 3
my humps by the black eyed peas = jog 4
why dont you do right? by sinead oconnor = recovery 4
deee-lite theme again = jog 5
dance of kali from dance of shakti album for cool down.

I will redo on tuesday morning if i can get my butt up early ; )
now off to make lunch :P

FO Friday

2011-05-20T19:51:00.001+02:00

I am THIS close to finishing Roxanne :D
I have mixed feelings about this shawl.
First of all, the yarn i chose for it is less than optimal - too busy for the highly textured shawl. (it's the color of the2nd skein of yarn on the page)
Second of all, the pattern itself, while ther's nothing "wrong" with it, is not one i would have chosen to knit had i seen it before hand.
Thirdly, it is quite small! Though I reserve judgement on that until it is blocked.
And speaking of blocking, that and about 2/3 row single crochet around the edge is all that's left.
I tried the suggested bindoff and though i have found that BO to be excellent in the past, for some reason it was very tight on this shawl. it wouldnt let me block it correctly, let alone have pointed edges! So i opted for a single crochet BO with picots every 6 stitches. As i had enough yarn left for a 2nd row, that's what i'm currently doing and then throw it in a soak bath, pin it out, let it dry and voilà! One Christmas gift done :D
I had been debating whether this shawl would be gift-worthy while knitting it. I was hoping to gift it to Noëlle for Noël but was starting to feel ashamed it would be too ugly. Now that it's done, though it is far from being the prettiest i've knit up, it is at least not too shameful to gift.
Pics to follow.

WW week 6 out - bring on week 7 :D

2011-05-18T17:12:00.002+02:00

7 weeks in and i'm still sticking to it! crazy for me! yeah me!!! wootwootwoot!!!!!!!!
i'm not losing as fast as many on weight watchers online but that's ok. i am losing fairly steadily. I'm eating better and getting more exercise. My clothes are fitting better, and i feel more confident. Things are easing up with DH as my pants ease up.
I'm going to "treat" myself to the couch to 5 k challenge (remember when i did this successfully a couple years back?) when i hit my -5% mark which should be with next week's weigh-in. I have feet troubles and dont want to put extra strain on them so getting down to 5% less should be alittle easier on the tootsies.
I've found a couple of online weight watcher friends too and they are so great about motivating me and vice versa i hope.

B is for Buttah

2011-05-18T09:15:00.004+02:00

My sis started along on a ABC knitting blogathon started by the accidental knitter
I am such a copy cat so i had to join in ; P
So here goes post B (i might try to squeeze A in but i'm not promising anything cause i'm often a lam-o.)

YARN! I LOVE YARN! I LOVE FIBER!!!!
That has to be yelled - loudly while dancing around!
This is my sister's fault; Totally; 100%
Did i mention I'm a copy cat? I saw Dianne knitting a lace shawl (she never finished that one because it wasnt working out for her) I only saw the beginnings of this black cobweb alpaca yarn. it was absolutely divine - delicate, light as air, ephereal, soooo soft. She had told me she knit with wool and i thought "yah!!! craaaazy! i hate scratchy wool" and my sis who is even more sensitive in the skin dept than i am and had always had an aversion to wool as well??? what had gotten in to her? Well, she took me to a yarn store in Murfreesboro and said feel this. and this. and this. Oh. I get it! wool and other natural fibers are not scratchy if you know what to look for. It can be. But it can also be absolutely heavenly, SOFT AS BUTTAH!!!!!!!!!!!
I was hooked from then on.
My yarn collection has grown a lot since then. it no longer comprises only 100% acrylics.
I mostly order on line because there's not a huge selection here and i am sometimes disappointed. But my skills at choosing yarns are getting better and i listen to what others have to say about it to see what to try next.
A few years ago, i ordered a lopi for a blanket. that is NOT buttah. It is ...well, scratchy! but after my deception subsided and i CO, i began to enjoy the rusticity of it; I will line it with some polar or flannel when i finish (i've been working on this thing for almost 3 years and dont know if iever will finish) because i dont think having that on yuor lap when you cuddle is highly desirable but the knitting of it is actually pleasurable.
Sliding into a love of wool with merinos opened the door for explorations of all qualities of wool and wool blends. I appreciate all different types but i just cant live without buttah.

VACATION!!!!!

2011-04-29T18:38:00.002+02:00

I'm off for a whole week!!!! wootwoot!
We're not doing anything but hanging out here which is already pretty darn good!
I tried to talk my stick inthe mud... um, i mean my husband to having a weekend away : it has been my dream to go walking from one hotel to another along one of the ways in Ireland. Maybe one day i'll get to go see the beauty of ireland but i guess it wont be this year :P
I'm going to try to get caught up on pics, finish my rooooooxanne shawl and get a good amount done on my sweater. maybe cut out for a new sewing pattern, clean my office...ugh! do a little spring cleaning, stick to my weight watchers, and most of all, enjoy the monsters uhhh.. i mean kids and stick i... oops husband, and manage to finaly skype with kendra (are you still out there) and di and dad and talk to mom and allison on the phone and get in touch with my nephews/niece/sister to wish them a happy birthday.
uh...that's a pretty full list! better get busy lol!

Week 2 weight watchers

2011-04-21T18:56:00.003+02:00

This week I was supposed to
1. Track my weight
I of course did that lol! Excited to see the changes. And guess what, I have lost, at the end of week 2, 4.7 pounds! wootwoot! i lost an inch off my bust too :D But my darned thighs and back quarters are still the same size :P So, done!
2. Create a meal in the pointsplus tracker
I added lots of faves in the tracker (ie things i eat often) however i didnt add any meals because i dont typically eat the same meals every day. i'm ok with this because you can click and drag on the menu for daily tracking so it is plenty quick once you get your faves in. So, i'll say done anyway.
3. Make one small change to a favorite meal or snack
Done I made my fave chicken dish with half the normal amount of fresh cream and replaced that with skim milk. Could barely even tell :D
4. Stock your pantry perfectly
More or less done My DH built a couple of shelves in the pantry - YEAH!!! and he was sweet enough to even reorganize the whole panttry. Everything is much better displayed, i can actually tell what i have in one glance and make sure i use up older things first. And i have been trying to buy only healthy foods at the store. However, i ddint go so far as to print out their suggested list and follow that strictly.
5. Check that your weight loss expectations are realistic
Done My ultimate goal is 118 pounds. For my height and age the suggested weight range is 102 to 128 so my 118 goal is right in the middle pretty much. As far as the tips and tricks they suggest for sticking to your goals and making smaller intermediate goals, i'm going to read up on that over the next week or so. In the mean-time, i have a short goal of 5% loss, which will put me at 133 pounds.

I'm pretty happy with how things are going but i do sometimes feel frustrated. Feel like i need to stick a big ole something sweet and fattening in my mouth. Ugh! that is so hard : P
i just try to hang in there but it can be a real torture. especially when i feel lonely :(

I'm very proud of myself for one thing though! I had to get gas today and i cannot believe this but at the gas station for crying out loud (gas stations are not the meccas they are in the states with candy and coke and batteries and anything you could possible need overflowing) they had the horribly tempting most delicious vanilla fudge in the whole world that i discovered in scotland. this stuff is sinful!!!! and i said - oh no! i'm not even going there! and i left without buying it :D

Weight Watchers take ... 10?

2011-04-10T09:14:00.004+02:00

I've been struggling with my weight for all of my adult life. That may sound brattish to those who knew me growing up (110 pounds and size 2 til preganancy at 23 YO) or maybe even to some of my current friends and family (currently 140 pounds and size 10 or 12, which, I know isnt of catastrophic proportions). I know that for an american, my weight is totally acceptable. But you must remember I'm living in southern france and especially with a very macho man whose standards are pretty much impossible to reach but nonetheless very vocalized. Here in france, woen reallydo tend to be thinner as a rule and there is much more emphasis on outer appearance. We can choose to buy into this or not. You can strongly disagree about just about any 2 words strung together in this post. That doesnt change the fact that my DH is unhappy with my weight and is thus making me unhappy with myself and is also causing probs in our marriage. I'm not saying all our probs are from that nor am i saying he's 100% responsible for my feeling inadequate. But there is a huge prob around wieght in mine and my dh's collective lives. Also, taking everyone out of the picture, I'm 30 pounds heavier and 4 or 5 sizes bigger than 10 years ago. I'm not happy about that. The problem is I have problems with bingeing. I have tried weight watchers a gazillion times. I've been seeing a dietician for a few years - not helping AT ALL!!! I've done high protein diets. I've tried silly diets. All kinds of things. But I never follow through. I always end up binging after only a few days. The times I have lost weight, I've gained it all back within a very short period of time. I'm hoping this time will be different. So I signed up for WW online. Th WW meetings here in france are horrid. Take 45 overweight 50'ish yearold frenchwomen (let's not go there) and shove them in an unairconditioned, barely lit room about the size of a typical american bedroom, with small folding chairs in rows where your knees hit the lady in front of you and the lack of butt-room on the chair isnt important because the person sitting next to you (ie me, sitting with my arms shoved across my large boosum to make myself as small as possible becausei already feel out of place being at the meeting where they dagger you with their eyes because you only have 30 pounds to lose whereas they have 100 or so) has you safely wedged in, avoiding all falling through the 3 mm of space between the 2 chairs. that's WW in Beziers. Lovely - not! And i think this is going to work well for me. I'm on the puter all day at work any way so i can go and track my food easily. And i chose WW.com instead of WW.france because even though i live here, i do tend to eat more like an american and the french site doesnt allow for things like tacos and peanut butter lol. Also, they are always a couple of evolutions behind in the WW versions. OK, with all that, let's get down to how it went. So far, so good i guess. I've started a challenge group over there already. "down with chaffed thighs" because i went for a walk in a skirt and ugh! i had forgot about the sweaty chaffed thighs thing since last summer! I hate that! So i'm going to literally walk my butt and thighs and hopefully boobs off. and motivate some gals to do it along with me :D I met all the mini-goals of things to do this week : 1. Take a before photo and track your measurements. Done! 2. Track what you eat. Done! 3. Plan the best weight tracking strategy for you. Done! 4. Build your favorites. Done! 5.Clean your fridge and cupboards and clean them with healthy foods. Done! I tracked my eating 100% - even the horrible mid- week binge. And i stayed on track after the binge instead of flying into a cycle of more guilt-ridden binges :D I lost 3 pounds supposedly but i think that had something to do with PMS related water retention more than any effort on my behalf. I lost 1.5 inches on my waist!!! hello!? more water retention??? but only .5 inches on my bust and none on my hips and thighs :P My body is this year's current WIP. Wish me luck!

Episode 4 : Still a WIP ;^}

2011-04-06T16:59:00.006+02:00

So i messed up again toward the end; If i cant get it right the first time then i need to learn to edit, right???!!!
Anyhow, here's a direct link to listen and here are the shownotes :

I finished MistleToes by Mindy Vasil out of RYC Soft Lux in gigli.

I made my first ever sewn project :D! It is the easy breezy wrapskirt designed by diana rupp from her sew everything workshop book. I used Amy Butler 100 % cotton fabric from her love collection.

I delivered the chemo caps (bonnet 20 designed by monbouton and moss landing hat from sock yarn one skein wonders designed by sarah hope parmeter / whatifknits) to their recipients.

I have started the elphaba pullover by Mary Annarella aka marymealittle.
The yarn I am using is Schaefer yarns Heather in thistle also ordered from eat.sleep.knit.

I'm plugging away on my rainbow vanilla socks, design by Jasmin canty / cuteknitter.

I just started a new kal : a lace shawl called roxeanne by liz abilante.

I'm still spinning happyhappyjoyjoy by the counting sheep farm.

I have relegated my naughty secretary skirt to hibernation.But I won't forget her!

Dorotheewool has the most gorgeous fair isle works. She has even designed some herself. You can purchase her patterns from her blog Les petites mailles.

I just finished listening to "Sing You Home" by Jodi Picoult - ambivalent towards this book.

Episode 3 : Pèle-mèle

2011-03-30T21:32:00.010+02:00

Here's a direct link to the podcast or you can find it on itunes.
This week I have a few things off the needles :D

I finished my tempest a Knitty pattern by Ann Weaver out of Rapture by Squoosh Fiber Arts, ordered at Eat.Sleep.Knit.
I finished Marie's chemo cap using the moss landing pattern from sock yarn one skein wonders.
I started and finished a chemo cap for Aurélie's mother using Sophie Oudry-Braillon, aka monbouton's pattern bonnet 20.

I CO for Mistletoes by Midny Vasil, aka Minknit .
I also CO a pair of vanilla socks, using JasminCanty's (aka cuteknitter) knitmore girls vanilla sock pattern.

My Vellamo socks by Taina Anttila are just sitting there gathering the proverbial dust.
As is my "naughty secretary skirt" from Diana Rupp's afore-mentioned book made out of amy butler's cypress paisley fabric in lime because i STILL have no invisible zipper foot for my sewing machine grrr!

I finished the singles of my just lime merino tencel from Spincerely Yours.

Phew! that's a lot of stuff i'm working on!!!!

This week I mention a book, The Help by Kathryn Stockett I'm listening to on my ipod. i got my "copy" from audible.
I also mention Imake podcast Thank you Martine for mentioning my podcast :D

And for In the spotlight I mention a group on Ravelry : Annie's gifts for Chemo moderated by Annie's caring and courageous daughters Kathleen, aka Bluesmoothie and Deborah, aka Beachbrat.

Episode 2 show notes - long in coming!!!

2011-03-30T21:24:00.002+02:00

So it's almost time for episode 3 and i'm only now getting around to posting episode 2 show notes :"/
And on top of that i'm going to cheat. A lot of the things i talked about this go round were also mentioned in episode 1. So rather than relinking... you get the idea ;"D

I also mentioned the book SEW: sew everything workshop by Diana Rupp.
And 1to1's bears for the mother bear project. you can read some info about her bears and the project on her blog.
Next time i will try to do better getting the notes up in a timely manner :D

Episode 2 - Short and sweet

2011-03-20T21:26:00.002+01:00

Show-notes to follow.
Direct link to episode 2.

Itunes Rss feed

2011-03-14T18:37:00.001+01:00

Sorry things have been disorganised for the podcast. You should be able to subscribe to work in progress here on itunes.

Episode 1 - Just do it!

2011-03-06T16:00:00.004+01:00

I have been wanting to do a podcast for quite some time and well, I finally just did it! I'm nervous about how it will be received but, if it gets really negative reviews ... it will just pod-fade - no biggie!

Here is a direct link to listen to the show

Episode 1 - Just do it!
You can also subscribe to the podcast on itunes or find a direct link on ravelry in the Work in Progress group.

So here are the shownotes for this episode :
On the needles -
Tempest by Ann Weaver, a free pattern from Knitty made with rapture from squoosh fiber arts that i ordered from eat.sleep.knit
Vellamo by Taina Anttila made with knit picks' stroll tweed and essential kettle died yarns in masala tweed and gold.
Patches baby sweater made out of knitfitknitting's calypso 100% superwash merino in the colorway peace and love.

On my wheel - some merino tenecel from http://www.etsy.com/shop/Spincerely

I mention the liverpool top and a figure 8 cast-on tutorial

I hope you enjoy this first episode and would love to hear from you!

PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-02T19:55:00.004+01:00

I finally got my stupid camera charger! It took a month to get here ... grrr!!!
So I immediately started snapping pictures of...my knits ! lol!
And it got here just in time - i thought i was going to have to post another WIP Wednesday sans photos!
I'm still working on my tony the tiger sweater; i just bound off the left front :D So now right front, sleeves, and button band to go.

I finished the blue socks I mentioned last week

And started another pair right away ;) The new pair is a beautiful rust with tweedy bits striped with a solid gold. There are two bands of color work on the socks too. I'll post more about theses (pattern, yarn, progress, pics) next week.

I also started a baby sweater for a friend who i just found out is pregnant. Just now...she's due in June! thanks for the heads' up :P. But the sweater has had a little mishap. Well, not really the sweater, but the needles. I broke them :/ So it got put on hold after barely getting started. :P More on that one later too, once it gets back off the ground.

The kids are out of school for 2 weeks. this week I'm off and keeping them while DH works, next week, I'm working while DH keeps them - they're going skiing in the mountains.
Today, they had friends over and they got to decorate cookies. The recipe I used was really good - often cut out cookies are bland and play-doughey but these were not. They tasted great and using thses tips, they turned out perfect! Easy to cut out even for the kids. And the icing recipe...oh!yum! i might have eaten...a lot.
the kids had fun though Rémi started acting like a total retard and got kind of out of hand which was a little tiring after spending all that time in the kitchen doing the prep work (dough, rolling dough, refrigerating dough, cleaning up the dough mess, making the icing, coloring the icing 6 different colors ( + white)...But all in all it was good.

WIP Wednesdays

2011-02-24T19:04:00.003+01:00

I've been motivated by other crafty bloggers to keep a running tab on my works in progress - since my blog is called WIP..i kind of should have thought of this myself and been doing it for a while :")

Thing is my camera is still sans battery...the cord is still AWOL (in USA where i left it to be exact). I ordered one forever ago from kodak online store and am STILL waiting for it ...grumble grumble grumble...So for this week's WIP Wednesday...it's kind of dull sans photos...

I am working like crazy on my rust and navy tempest (the one that i talked about last post - remember, tony the tiger?)
I am about 80% done with the back of the sweater. And on the one hand, it's going pretty smoothly and i would say fairly quickly, effortlessly but...when i think ahead on how much is LEFT to do, i'm getting slightly intimidated a little worried (i kind of have the dreaded magpie syndrome crafters are often known for - "ooooh! pretty!" and off i go following the last thing that caught my attention and dropping the thing i was working on :^/ ). But this is so so so pretty and soft and lovely to work on that i might just be able to hold interest in it.

I am also trying to finish up a pair of socks out of Zwerger Garn Opal Antonia aus Tirol
n°2803)

I had cast these on forever ago (last june) and that was just langering at the heel flap of sock one. I am nearing the toe decreases of sock two and should finish them by the end of the month. Since you cant see a picture (grrrr...) let me describe them - they are a denimy blue with one thin white stripe followed by a jacquardy white and blue 1/2 inch band and later by a thin yellow stripe. The stripe sequence runs through three times per sock and though i started them exactly at the same spot in the yarn, the first sock was abviously at a much looser gauge (remember it was started almost a year ago...) so the stripes dont exactly match up. I'm totally ok with my socks being fraternal rather than identical. Heck i've even been known to wear distant cousin socks. I have a pair i made going cuff down on one and toe up on the other so they are veeeeery different and when you get a peek of it through my mary janes you think i'm wearing mismatched socks - i dont care - i love wearing hand knit socks. like wearing pretty undies - just makes you feel good even if noone else knows :^)

I've also been spinning a bit. I bought 2 batts at the fiber fair i mentioned a couple of weeks back. One was reds with pretty much everything but the kitchen sink in it (all different types of wools, angelina, angora...) And the other was the same mix but in pretty pale blues.
The reds i picked out so i could spin it for a swap i'm doing. The swap is honoring the American Heart Association ‘Go Red for Women’ program, which promotes healthy living and education for the prevention of heart disease. We are to send one skein of red yarn plus other goodies plus make a donation to the AHA. I'm running very late on getting mine out because i'm having trouble getting my act together but mostly because i had this specially made yarn in mind for the yarn part of the swap and i have no other red yarn in my stash (unless i regift and that's not cool). And, well, said "art yarn" that i envisioned as being really cool and reminiscent of artherosclerosed arteries is ... fugly : P.
The blue batt that i spun up isnt faring much better. I have yet to ply it though - maybe i can salvage it. What they say is true though, quality in => quality out. These batts were not of as professional of a caliber as i'm used to spinning and while i thought the funkiness of the blend was artistic intent on the blenders behalf, while spinning, i realized it was more just a question of poorly processed fiber.

My mojo is back :D

2011-02-21T13:25:00.003+01:00

I was feeling weighed down by shouldas and wannas but wont cause i have too many wips already, weighed down by a too large queue i could never get to in a million years, weighed down by too much stash, a lot of which i bought just cause it was on sale or before i knew what kind of yarn i wanted or "surprises" i ordered without seeing it first hand.

I have cleared out the toy/craft room to make room for the elliptical trainer so now that room has no more fibery stuff in it (except books and i think i'll clear that out as well). it is now a toy room / gym. While clearing it out, i got rid of some stash. I still have a couple of other stash sources to go through but i weeded out a lot.

I dwindled down my queue to only things i really think i would like to make.

I put some of my WIPS that i really lost interest in in "hibernation" both on ravelry and in my house (ie i hid them in a chest lol) so they wouldnt haunt me anymore. A couple i decided to rip even.

And I decided to not expect any thing of myself (remember the 1 chemo cap per month, 1 BOM per month, 1 pair of socks per month, yadda yadda). If i make a hat, pair of socks, block, ... GREAT! If i dont feel like doing it, that's fine too! NO MORE HAVE TO's :D

And finally to get it all back in order, I decided to let myself CO a sweater I've been wanting to do (even though i didnt finish big orange which is "hidden" in hibernation ;P)

I CO for Tempest www.knitty.com/ISSUEspring08.PATTtempest.http, a free pattern from http://www.knitty.com/. It's a very cute striped cardigan; I chose an absolutely stunning yarn - merino cashmere nylon. It's rapture by squoosh fiber arts www.eatsleepknit.com/cshop/product/Squoosh-Fiberarts-Rapture/4042/ in sweet potato and ink. I have decided to embrace the fact that I'm an autumn. I really don't want to be : I love pink and purple lol! But after talking to Dianne and my mom about this over Christmas, I really must admit that burnt orange is a good color for me ;^P.
The colors are so pretty and rich and vibrant and the yarn feels wonderful! The colors are very pretty together BUT...it is a rather unfortunate color combination choice...anyone remember tony the tiger, you know kellogs frosted flakes?
Oh well, let's just hope nobody notices. If I start hearing "you look grrrrrrrrrrreat!" while wearing it i think i'll crawl under a rock. good thing commercials in france back in the 80's werent quite so "commercialized" so maybe the frenchies wont sight the tiger in me.

I'm also trying to get my healthier living mojo back and the new elliptical trainer is helping with that. More on that later.

And a big ol' congrats to my bff who is getting into a healthier shell these days! wtg!!!

Crazy me?

2011-02-11T14:32:00.002+01:00

I'm already afraid of how I'm going to feel next week...
I have a BUSY weekend ahead of me - should be lots of fun but i'm afraid I'll be regretting it next week - feeling tired and annoyed and upset with myself for not spending time with the kids...yadda yadda.
Saturday as soon as we eat lunch we're hopping in the car to go to Montpellier (about an hour away) to look at an elliptical trainer.
That evening we're having dinner with 2 neighboring couples at one of their houses - will be great fun and relaxation. great for the kids too as their kids and ours are friends. But, itmeans a busy afternoon into a busy evening and a late night (and i really need my beauty sleep ; ) )
And then Sunday I'm going to a wool festival!!! Yeah!! A wool festival - can you believe it? It wont be rhinebeck, but hey! It's something!
And I'm going with a few girlsI knit with in Montpellier.
Thing is it's a 4 hour drive for me => 8 hours driving in all...ugh!!!!!
And I'm the one driving - aaaaggggghhhh!!!
What am i, crazy?! Ahhhh the things we'll do for WOOL!!! lol

So fun to be had, but...remind me not to overbook myself like this again...?

Wonderful weekends

2011-02-09T13:32:00.003+01:00

Ok, so i know i'm cheating with the title since just last week i posted wonderful wednesdays but... i feel really good these days and things are looking up.
Is it that i started taking prozac again, lol? or is it that i've been listening to "i love honor and respect myself" positive affirmations from http://www.mythoughtcoach.com/? Or is it that i've been getting out and walking as many days per week as i can? or is it a slight attempt at reading the upper room more often? or i sit my new lightened work schedule? or my yoga? Maybe it's all of the above. Whatever it is, i'm glad for it and i'm trying to not let that nagging..."yeah, but it wont last" feeling come and haunt me. trying REALLY hard : P
Anyhow, this past weekend, we really enjoyed ourselves. Friday was Christophe's 40th bday 8^0
So that evening Alex and I prepared a special dinner (she had been planning out the menu for over a week!). We set the dining room table with nice linens and candles, made cakes that alex had chosen special non-extinguishing candles for and had a nice dinner. Then Rémi and Alex played guitar (rem) and sang kareoke style (alex) in turn til they were blue in the face.
And to top it all off, the neighbors from down the street who knew it was his 40th and also knew he didnt want to celebrate had asked me if they could come over with a bottle of champagne jsut to at least acknowledge this rite of passage ; ). So we had devised a plan to send them a secret signal so they could come over towards the end of the singing right before the cake. It was nice and laid back.
Then Saturday we went out to eat at an all you can eat buffet - but this one is a buffet to end all buffets! With foie gras poêlée and steak cooked right under your nose and all kinds of yummy stuff! And after that we went bowling. I havent been bowling in YEARS!!!!!
I suck bad! i lost - yes, lost! even to alex! lol
But it was a blast.
And sunday, we all just hung out and did our own ting. i went for a nice walk with Easy. it was gorgeous out! I had on a coat and sweater and tank top but had to strip off until i was in the tank! can you believe that?! in february!
Soooooo nice!
I think i can get used to this ;)

Return of the knitting mojo

2011-02-04T17:01:00.002+01:00

I mentioned that i am wanting to make 1 pair of socks and 1 chemo cap per month plus an afhan block every month quite a few other things and i was feeling weighed down and bored with my projects hanging over me. Plus i really need and want to make Tyler's hat but didnt have the yarn.
I got the yarn today! It was a gamble - picking colors on a computer screen and without being able to feel the yarn is difficult.
But, come on, how bad can merino be, right? And the purple and gold really did look nice on the screen.
Well, i got my yarn today - it's PERFECT!
Beautiful, soft, cushy, thick, warm!
So i'm going to wind it up and CO for a turn a square hat (designed by jared flood aka brooklyn tweed).
I should be able to cross that off my list and send it out kendra within a week i hope.
YEAH!!!

Wonderful Wednesdays

2011-02-02T20:25:00.002+01:00

This is the first week on my new schedule. I'm working 7 to 4 now instead of 8 to 4:30 so i get 30 minutes more to my day to go walk the dog or do yoga or help kids with homework or what have you; And on top of that i now get Wednesdays off!!!!!
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe how relieved i am!
Going in on Monday, i felt so much better knowing i only had 2 days to work before a little break! And today, i got so much accomplished. I cleaned a little, did laundry, did yoga and walked the dog, made a REALLY good soup (simmered for 4 hours, packed with veggies!), was able to take the kids to their wednesday activities (track for alex and guitar for remi), spun a little, knit a little....GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So speaking of knitting, I have decided to make 1 chemo cap per month, to finish my afghan started jan 2009 (hehehe), to make 1 pair of socks per month, and to knit w few sweaters and several shawls in 2011.
I have already finished february's chemo cap and picked up a sock i had started a while back (ready for heel turn on it) and started the afghan block so i'm doing pretty good for february! I ordered some yarn to make a hat for tyler that i promised him i would do but had no yarn for so i hope the colors will be good when it gets here. I also had to get a skein of black for remi's hat.
it seems like i have a gazillion things on the needles and waiting impatiently to get started - i feel a little overwhelmed :P
I'll get pics up when i get my camara charger i just ordered - have no battery left at all so cant take any pics :P

I'm missing you Kendra, wondering what's going on with you, how you're doing, how you're hanging in there?

RAINBOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-11T18:17:00.002+01:00

What a day!!!!!!!!!
I finally got up the nerve to talk to my boss about cutting back my hours and he's ok with it and pretty much is giving me free reign to make up my schedule :D
I'm going to go for 8 to 4:30 every monday tuesday and thursday and one friday out of two (schools out in france on wednesdays)

I am so excited and relieved and hopeful!

And on the way home, i saw a gorgeous rainbow to my left - i love rainbows and i always think they're a little treat from God to me personally - i'm a dork that way. But this one!!! well, one? no these 4!!!! were incredible!!!!
first i saw the one, well defined thento my left i noticed it other end curbig down a little hazy. i was enjoying it as much as i could while driving on the interstate lol! and thanking god for the beauty of His world when bammo! there was a shadowy rainbow over the right sided one. i was amazed - 1st time i'd ever seen 3 rainbow quarter-arcs at the same time. i've seen two several times (either doubled on the same side or the two quarter arcs missing the middle) but never 3.
While still looking in between glancing at the road, the lower arc completed itself so i had a full arc and a quarter and then the other side doubled so one full and a quarter arc ove rit on either side and that one slowly growing to meet in its center! incredible and on the right side the colors were very well defined and bright while on the left hazy and beautiful.
and it looked like i was driving into it.
and best of all it was still there when i picked alew up so she got to see it too :D

Thankful

2011-01-10T11:14:00.002+01:00

My little girl is such a blessing - i forget that so often because she can be a smart-alec a lot of the time lol and has some head-strong tendencies (is that an understatement? ;) )
So i just want to spend a few minutes talking about how sweet and special she is.
Last week she made a special dinner for her brother. She wrote out a menu for him to select from. We had tons of left-overs so he got to circle what he wanted but she made sure he circled at least one vegetable for the hors-d'oeuvres and one for the entrée. What a respnsible little chef ;).
Then she fixed his plates up very special, putting the entrée in the fridge until he was almost done with the hors d'oevres and heating it up in the microwave at the last minute so the temperature would be perfect. Such attention to detail. She waited on him hand and foot! She had even sacrificed the last piece of galette des rois to fix up his desert plate.
What a sweetie.
She is a very caring, responsible, affectionate child with an incredible sense of observation and a keen eye for detail.
I hope i can remember to praise her for these things and help her to develop these qualities instead of hounding on her for her stubborness and defiant streak.

totally unrelated (well not really, my blog title is thankful after all and i'm very thankful lynn is doing this :D ) but anyhow, just so you know, gardenlynn from ravelry is giving away a knitpicks dpn set. Dont (oops, i mean Do) go over there and sign up to maybe win those DPNs. If you've never used knitpicks needles, you'd be in for a treat if you're the lucky winner :D
here's her blog site http://http://gardenlynn.blogspot.com/2011/01/needle-mania-giveaway.html

Motivating the troops

2011-01-06T17:57:00.002+01:00

Who'd have thought?
Every time i ask the kids to do something (ie homework, a piddly something around the hosue, what have you) it's this huge big ordeal. horrible pouting, whining, fussing, Remi does the full blown drama about to be put on the cross thing!
Today I was having none of it ( i usually yell, they fight back, we all end up angry and frustrated - and this is a daily occurence for crying out loud! i just cant understand that they wont just say "oh ok, i'll go do my homework instead of waitnig ti li ask ten times and then til i finally get angry....grrrrr!!!!)
Anyhow, i said told them they had to do it whether they wanted to or not, i suggested a plan of attack, accompannied them to their rooms and ... they are doing it.
well, that was easy...not! lol!
maybe tomorrow we can be as successful? i feel like it's a little victory. finally after 12 years! geez!

Stupid horse

2011-01-04T16:03:00.002+01:00

I'm all saddled up, feeling positive, happy, ready for the long ride into 2011 and that stupid bronco is getting all crazyon me.
OK enough horsey allegory - promise i wont do it to you anymore lol!

But yesterday, first day back at work => same old probs :P
get home and have to do this that and the other, main task being helping kids with homework and that went very poorly!
I realize in hind-sight that goig back to school for them is just as much of a PITA as going back to work is for me. I realize also a ltitle too late that they are probably still a little discombobulated from the jetlag just like I am.
But I'm forgiving myself instead of beating myself up for it because you know why i lost my patience with them? because i'm discombobulated and irked about work ;P
SO the moral of the story is two steps forward one step back - that's still in the right direction, right?!
(or would that be four hoofs forward, two hoofs back? hehehe)

This has however confirmed in my mind the need to cut back my hours at work - i really need to be there for my kids and to have time to take care of my health, my and my family's eating, my household, my couple. I NEED more time to become the mother / wife / person / christian I envision and ALSO to reflect upon the fact that i dont HAVE to be the mother / wife etc... I envision - it's ok to not be perfect but i dont even have the mental energy to practice acceptance and forgiveness of myself if that makes sense.

Christophe suggested waiting til maybe end of week or beginning of next week before hounding them with this request. He pointed out that i already ask for a lot (massage school (denied), pediatric school (failed entrance), help in my job...hehehe. he's right and i know this which is one of the reasons i am already nervous about asking them yet another thing. but hey, this is my and my kids lives we're talking about right? i have to stand up for what i believe to be the best for us. will my boss be there for me when my kids end up in jail because i was such a lousy unavailable mother? or will they come to my funeral when i kill over from stress? well, they might, but it wont matter anyway will it?
That's what i try to tell myself anyway but i still feel my heart skip a beat and my knees go weak when i think about going up to my boss to ask him to let me go 75% time when i've already told him how behind i am :"/

Back in the swing of things

2011-01-03T12:05:00.002+01:00

Back home. Back to work.
But not back to same old same old! This is a new year right?
Last year's goal of LOVE, Let go and Let God...well, I need to work on that some more but I tell you what, God is working some craziness in my life in spite of me - He's really holding to His promises. I think I need to get out of His way and let Him do His thing so I'm trying to just embrace it.
Since I've been back from USA, I've been amazed at Christophe! How he's interacting with me - what I'd always hoped for! Listening to me when I talk - we went for a nice walk sans kiddos yesterday and I discussed my concerns about how we're raising our kids and talked about some of the things Di and Henry shared with me about how they deal with their kids and suggestions they made about punishment, encouragement, promoting responsibility and initiative.
He listened, commented, shared his ideas, thought that the things Di and Henry suggested were great ideas... So we decided on a course of action for that evening (we had asked kids to clean their rooms and do homework) and implemented it together. It went over very smoothly and there was no frustration in the checking up on all of their tasks - Christophe helped me make sure all was good and we praised and encouraged the kids on what they had done and told them what was expected of them over the week and what they could expect in return in function of their decisions.
And it's not just that - he hasnt hounded me about the inevitable weight gain (htough he did notice :P) and has been loving and kind anyway. totally unexpected!
I feel good about the year to come and hope I will have the fortitude motivation and discipline on my part to make things work spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in my family life and my work life.
I feel 2010 was a tough year for many and felt certain 2011 would be better. Don't know about you guys but it seems to be off to a good start for me.
I WISH YOU ALL A WONDERFUL 2011 FULL OF LOVE, HOPE, HEALTH, FRIENDSHIP, and LAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you all for being my friends and supporting me through 2010. I hope I can be there foryou when you need it.

Petit Papa Noël

2010-12-11T12:05:00.003+01:00

Papa Noël came early this year. He knew Rémi and Alex weren't going to be here for Christmas ;)
Rémi got a big boy's bike (he had been using my old peice of crap from college as his bike was too small). Christophe wanted him to be able to ride around this weekend before leaving so we decided to go ahead and put the presents out.
We woke the kids up this morning with petit papa noël blaring on the computer speakers.
They were so excited especially because it was unexpected. They got everything they had put on their wish list. Papa Noël from maman and papa and from Mamie and from Tonton was very generous this year (and also they were very reasonable).
Rémi got his bike and a transformer (i think it was megatron )
Alex got a lot of little things - a doll, a head to make-up and style, books, a dentist play-do set.
Christophe made crepes which is one of their favorite breakfasts.
Here are some pics :D

EAT.SLEEP.KNIT

2010-12-06T18:32:00.003+01:00

I dream about knitting. I dream about yarn. I think about what project I will start next while walking or showering... I swoon when i touch plump lucious wools. I drool over online yarn stores web pages.
I'm pitiful!
I'm a dweeb!
But I can admit it ;)

So, i just ordered from http://eatsleepknit.com/ - obviously some very like-minded people hehehe.
I am just giddy with excitement - will you bare with me?

I purchased enough yarn to make http://knitty.com/ISSUEspring08/PATTtempest.html
are you ready? the yarn is called rapture by squoosh fiberarts. it is 75% superwash merino, 15% silk, 10% cashmere. it is sproingy and soft and yet somehow crisp feeling (guess it's the silk). i chose ink - a very very dark blue (indigo, almost black) and sweet potato (a gorgeous rust). :D
Can't wait to start it but lots of other things on th ego right now so not til probably february :( which means i wont get to wear it til next fall lol!!!!

I also got some handmaiden casbah - the knitmore girls say it's vundahvar so i have been wanting to try for a while. it's to make a pair of socks thought it's a little thicker than most sock wools. this one is called stardust and it is different shades of blues and a little lavandar. it is also a cahsmere merino blend though it has nylon instead of silk . it is much plumper than the rapture - not as tightly twisted.

And you know what??? I got this all at 20% off on their black friday sale :D !!!!!!
and i joined their yarn club so they sent me goodies :D : a chocolate snowman, a GREAT yarn sampler!!!! a tiny snippet of most of the yarns they carry tied on a nice thick labeled piece of paper. now i no longer have to wonder how such and such yarn feels :D
love it! and a card where i can check off the needles i have and always carry with me - that's great!!!!
Can you tell how excited i am? lol!

On the needles is a super cute hat for alex - i'm doing double knitting for the first time ever - that was quite something to figure out on my own with no visuals! lol! i had heard a podcaster describe the technique and kind of got the gist and then the pattern kind of explained it - took me three tries but then i got the hang of it.
This technique lets you do colorwork without having all the threads hanging out in the back because you're actually knitting two layers at once, back to back. so the floating strands are caught in between. it also lets your colorwork be reversible. for example, i am making alex a pink hat with a white skull and crossbones on it - the other side is white with a pink skull and crossbones. and since it's double thickness, it's doubly warm! It will be perfect for the mountains :D
As soon as her hat's done, i have to make one for Christophe (pretty much the same one i made for Sam and posted the pic of in last post) and one for Rémi - all black with a gray metallica written on it and the other side black flames on a gray background. i found the perfect gray yarn - it's all silk so it has a great sheen and the color is just right - it looks almost like silver :D

I'm also wanting to finish those dog-garn gloves!
and then there's my go big orange sweater.

not enough time in the day!

hugs to everyone!!!!

knit knit knit :D

2010-11-27T08:21:00.006+01:00

i just finished a hat that i am sooooooooo proud of! i think it looks so good and i love the colors and it's the first time i have ever succeeded in doing fair isle (after about 3 other attempts)

i knit it for a guy at work who threw a quick "will you make me a hat" one day at work in front of a lot of people and well, i blurted out yes and...well, too late to take it back...grrrr....
but the hat turned out so pretty i dont mind. i gave it to him yesterday and he really loved it. he offered to pay for the yarn and i said not to worry about it. but after work i couldnt start my car because i had left the lights on so i called the ICU to have Sam come down and jump it off so i told him he had paid for his hat after all in services rendered lol ; )
and guess what? Christophe wants one almost just like it - he wants his longer of course - to cover the ears. sam had only wanted a skull cap.
guess i know what i'll be knitting on th eairplane ;)

i also finished the shawl for christophe's aunt.
i'm more or less happy about it

christophe helped me block it. i couldnt believe that! he's really finally opening up to my knitting! asking me to knit for his aunt, helping me pick out yarn and pattern for it, wanting me to knit him a hat, helping with blocking! cant believe it!!!!

we put up the tree last night. the kids were so excited! they have been begging me ever since the beginning of the week since we do it the weekend after thanksgiving.

Come back next week for hopefully a big announcement (if i get the courage up to talk to my boss).

The love dare

2010-11-16T19:58:00.002+01:00

Well, it's on hold. i had two days at work that have been long and hard so i havent had time to read day uh... i think it's day 5 that's up next.
Hopefully I'll be able to get on that tomorrow.
I am feeling a little better in my spiritual heart though.
I am praying a little more.
Still not totally in teh faith feeling but i know from past experience that if i put time and thought into my spiritual life then it blooms. And that effects my relationships with others.
Not much else going on here.
Getting wound up about coming to USA!!! Only about 4 more weeks! Can you believe it?!
Hugs to you all :D

Kindness and selflessness

2010-11-13T15:32:00.004+01:00

Day one if you remember was patience. Day 2 is Kindness. These are the two pillars of love. Without patience and kindness, you cannot love fully - and can't you see it? I mean, when you're not being patient or kind, others do not feel loved and if someone is impatient and unkind to you, you don't feel loved. So why can't we all be patient and kind all the time? I think it's because of selfishness. Being selfless is day 3's challenge. Great! Something hard so early on ;^) .
I know that selfishness is probably my biggest fault. I feel I have no time for me, and I want time for me. And that often results in my acting meanly to those around me who are needing things from me. Thing is, how much time do I need? It's never enough it seems. And what's the message i'm giving others? That they aren't as important to me as i am to me. Is that just human nature? If so does that mean we should just accept it?
Anyhow, my dare for day 2 was to do an unexpected gesture of kindness for my spouse. I was kind of at a loss. Last time i tried the love dare, i gave him a massage but i felt that was kind of flaking to do the same thing this time around. I made him home-made bread and cooked fish just how he likes it for dinner while he went to play pong-pong. I feel like that wasnt a lofty enough gesture, because cooking is a daily neccessity but i usually buy bread from the boulangerie and i dont like to cook or eat fish the way he likes it so...well, anyway, that's my attempt and i'm sticking to it ; ) . He appreciated the bread and kept saying how pretty the loaf was and how nice and supple it was. And he raved abuot the fish so he must have felt it was special somehow : ) .
And today I was supposed to buy himsomething. I am, like I said, selfish. But I'm not selfish with money - only with time. So this seemed pretty stupid and also, we dont really gift things - if he wants something, he gets it and vice-versa. And he only likes sports stuff - he reads about it all the time so is very knowledgable about the materials/clothes he wants for sports whereas i have no idea where to begin. it would be all wrong if i got it for him. I had to go grocery shopping today; So while at the store, i sttood in the cheese section line and then in the charcuterie line o get him a huge hunk of roquefort and brie and some confit de foie de porc to take with him to lunch on at the vineyards. Much tastier than his usual rice and tuna salad he makes himself. His first comment when he got in from biking and looked in the fridge was "wow! you spoiled me!"

From these dares, i see that just tiny little acts which seem to me like little peace offerings seem to kind of bring contentment and harmony into the atmosphere. He isnt as grumbly and seems to be in a positive frame of mind.

However, I havent been able to maintain my efforts on all fronts. i was hoping to show the same kindness and selflessness to my children. I havent. Rémi is being so difficult these days - always yelling at his sister, cussing at her, hitting her if he thinks noone will see. He blames her for this that and the other. And when i try to correct him or punish him he gets all red and pouty and shakes and says whatever, yeah, fine, noone understands, it's so and so's fault, i didnt do anything, or any number of excuses/combination of excuses. I feel so hurt for him and yet disappointed in him. Angry with him for treating his sister like this and for not taking responsibility for any of his actions. In short, i dont know how to react/interact with him; And so the best way would be with love, right? By implementing the Patience, Kindness, and Selflessness i've learned so far? Well, ...that's proving to be too much of a challenge for me right now apparently.

On a lighter note, a little knitting : D !!!
Here's a glove i've been working on but that unfortunately is on hold because i have to knit a shawl for my dh's aunt's 80th birthday

And here is said shawl for AIL

Oh, and I never shared pics from the baby shower - it went really well. We had a nice time, good conversation, Elodie was surprised and so happy, and Easy got lots of loving lol!

And dominique (the red head in the pics) gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers that has made me smile every time i come into the living/dining room :D

Oh and by the way, remember my friend martine who i had a falling out with and was so upset about, we've been friends again for about 4 or 5 months now though we dont see each other outside of work (she's not the type to see anyone really outside of work - very family centered); Anyhow, she's the short-haired blond in the pic. I'm so happy to be friends again - can't you see by the expression on her face how sweet and kind she is? I'm very fortunate to be able to call her my friend again :D

Patience

2010-11-11T20:50:00.002+01:00

Have you heard of The Love Dare?
It's an inspirational/self-betterment type book where every day presents a different aspect of love accompannied with a scripture passage and a "dare" then a place to log. It's a 40 day challenge geared toward helping you infuse your marriage with true love - God's perfect love.
I started this book quite while ago and was a Love Dare Loser...I dropped out after about 2 weeks ;)
But a friend mentioned it to me in an email (Diane, the lady i walked with not too long ago)
And via a blog mentioned in a friend's blog i came across someone doing the dare and blogging about it.
I've decided to do the same to help me keep on track.
Today was a holiday so i was off work with the kids all day.
The day's dare was to practice patience by not letting naything negative come out of my mouth. And this is something i need to work on not only with Christophe but also with my kids. So i decided to let this be a whole family challenge.
My kids TALK....A LOT!!!!!!!!!!! I managed to do a pretty darn good job of not letting any negativity out of my mouth today though i did have to tell Rémi that i felt he was being unfair and mean to his sister. But i feel it didnt take proportions it usually tends to take. And for Christophe, we weren't around each other much becaue he was at work but i said nothing negative to him either :D
Everyone seems to react well to the lack of negativity - no long term recipricocity, but good vibes for the day. if this can become habbit, maybe not only I can change but I can help them to change (respect and patience and love is not flying high in my household right now, on anyone's part).

My week in review

2010-11-05T20:47:00.003+01:00

FOOD ... must EAT!
lol!
Kendra, i'm really supporting you across the waves, lol. I have done a high protein diet since monday. it's a 5 day booster and then you eat a healthy balanced low-calorie diet.
I finished today :D I MADE IT!!!! Can't believe it ;)
I've lost 4.5 pounds this week but i'm worried that as soon as i start eating fruits and bread (thus breaking out of the cetose process - long story) that it will come right back on.
Also, Sunday some girls from work are coming over at 2 for a baby-shower (this is a first for them all - not done here)
So i'm making chocolate mousse, pound cake with fudge icing and pumpkin pie. I'll be serving the yummy sherbert punch my aunt nancy makes for showers.
And i absolutely CANNOT break down and pig out on that, right? but you all know me .... ugh!!!!
But i have been a little more active - trying to do yoga at least 3 times a week and walking the dog at least 3 times a week too.

OK - enough about my weight loss efforts. Now to my needles :D

First up, two of my favorite people in the whole wide world met up this past week to KNIT!!!! My DS Dianne, who is an excellent knitter and excellent teacher (patient, knowledgeable, passionate and enthousiastic) had knit night at her house and my BFF Kendra went over to chat and learn to knit!
I AM SO HAPPY they got together and that my bff is learning to knit!!!! :D

This week I started knitting a pair of gloves. http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/blooming The pattern is not written super well IMO - hard to understand wth you're supposed to do. Also it is much more complicated than anything i've ever tried. But, again, Kendra, i'm supporting you over here ;)
You're trying something new (knitting) so i'm upping the ante on my own knitting skills. I hope we both work through it and enjoy it instead of it kicking us in the rear ;)

I finished the shawl i was knitting for my marriage counselor as a thank you gift. It's a pattern i've already used : it's called skuld http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/skuld-2.
I blogged about this pattern when i made it the first time but just a quick reminder : skuld is one of the norns - 3 sisters in norse mythology who spin the threads of life. Skuld's realm is the future. That's why i chose this pattern - our counsellor is helping us find the tools to create a secure and happy future for ourselves - whether that mean separation or staying together, changing or saming, whatever...just helping us see things in a different way and trying to show us that we have the tools to decide our fate.
I chose black because our future - and that of most of the couples she sees, i'm sure - is so uncertain and hard to discern. And also because the design of this one looks like the paths of our lives all coming together, crossing, separating, ending.
I picked a super soft, plump, squishy yarn - debbie bliss baby cashmerino. it is lovely! perfect stitch definition which makes the intricate paths created by the lace really pop. and it is luxurious - it has merino and cashmere in it.
I had originally intended yin and yang by swtc - a solid base for yin and the same yarn with a sequined thread plied together with it for yang. But in spite ordering it with plenty of time to spare, i still have not received it! :P
So i have hand-sewn sequins onto sections of the "paths" to represent the spark of hope Mme Belporte is bringing into the lives of those she meets.
I really hope she likes it and understands where it's coming from.
Here's a pic of it blocking folded in half.

More uppetiness

2010-11-01T20:19:00.004+01:00

Just a quickie before i head back to work tomorrow.
First some cute pics from halloween:

And here's Easy, forever following me around like a little puppy (now i get where that expression comes from):

And finally, a little more good news - we have bought our plane tickets. We will be home dec 16 to dec 30. sing it with me I'll be home for Christmas but not only in my dreams ;D

On an up

2010-10-31T09:53:00.004+01:00

I always post when i'm down - it's kind of therapeutic to get it off my chest and your comments make me feel loved and supported and often help me see things in a different light.
But i dont often post good things..maybe because they're few and far between or maybe because i'm so down i can't see the good things.
Anyhow, i've had a great week off work (i'm sure that helps btw ;) )
Things are going a little better with DH and with the kids.
i've had time to relax and do nothing, hang out with the kids, knit, clean, shop, do yoga, get out for walks.
One walk was very special - i went for a walk with Diane, a lady from England who lives very clsoe to me. She and her husband host a church service in their house every other week. I went a few times but i've been struggling with faith so much that i didnt get much out of it and on top of that my stupid work load just made me decide to stop going. i rarely see Diane.
But i felt the need to chat with her and i know she likes to walk so i asked christophe if he wanted to walk to neffies (the next village over, where she lives - it's about a 1.5 hour walk there and back). So we did that thursday and i asked if she wanted to walk friday. we had a nice long walk and a nice long talk. she's a strong woman with a lot of life experience and a passion for Christ.
After our walk she invited me in for tea and then she prayed out loud for me. very specific prayers. It really meant a lot to me.
During this week i also go t to talk to bff kendra :D
hope you're feeling ok :D
well i guess that's about it for my week off... back to work tuesday :P

a little tirade

2010-10-22T14:15:00.001+02:00

i'll try to be quick but you know me ;)

i can make a quick story drag on for hours hehehe

so, we all know alex can be a little ...um... pistol.

she had that bout a few weeks back with the girls in class, remember?

much better but the otehr girls are still actin glike turds. whatever.

tehn she had a pb with her female teacher (has her once a week) who actually pulled her out of her chair by her collar (and a handful of hair) and then knocked her desk over because alex said she couldnt see the board (she's in the back).

she may have been being a stinker then too and that was the teacher's final straw (she says nothing at all had happened before but alex can tend to hide the truth sometimes) - either way whether she had already gotten on teacher's nerves or not, she should not have been treated that way; that same teacher has treated her unfairly several other times since the beginning of the year as well (asking if everyone has eraser, ruler, penicl...smiling and giving it to them when they said no, and then not giving an eraser to alex and replying "you should have your stuff with you" when she didnt have hers. things like that.

so dh went and ...uh, you know dh - i WOULD NOT hae liked to have been in her shoes. he may have been a little condescending and rude to the teacher...just a little ;)

anyhow, this makes 2ce in 2 months that dh or i have gone to see alex' teachers.

and to be honest i dont think we have been unreasonable - we are well too aware of our faults and her own to think she's above all guilt. in fact i feel we dont defend her enough because we do know she can tend to be a stinker.

anyhow, new blow up with a 3rd person. A TRUE BEYATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this one is complicated so here goes :

two little boys live close by, one is in her class. Boy A is the son of alex' teacher from the past two years. He was in his mom's class for both of those years which i dont think is particularly healthy anyway - she had a wierd relationship with him - very fusional; she's a single mother and is with her son ALL the time, 24/7.

Boy B is Boy A's friend and neighbor and is the son of a teacher from alex' school. though this teacher did not work last year or this year.

Boys A and B return home teh same time as alex and her girlfriends and they often called her "whore" and "dumb-a" - hello! she's 10!!! and so are they!!!

so my dh told them to stop.

i didnt know this part by the way when all of the following happened.

so, this B-i-t-c-h (boy B's mother and the now not working teacher) drove behind my daughter and her friends (on their bikes) when they were coming back from school and as soon as the friends pulled off (they live closer than us) the lady pulled in front of alex, making her stop her bike and yelled at her pointing her finger right up in her face (it was so up in alex' face that she was able to relate to me that her finger and face were shaking because she was so mad so i can really imagine the countenance of this B++++ while she's blocking my daughter's path), literally scaring the living daylights out of my daughter. Alex came in shaking and crying. She had felt someone following her and thought it was a kidnapper first of all so that alone had her already terrified and then she said the woman almost hit her front bike wheel she pulled over in front of her so quick and then got yelled at and insulted. i was proud of alex who stood tall and told the woman to go see her dad instead of her.

I immediately called the woman who WOULD NOT let me put in a word edge-wise. Since i had been talking first and she started talking over me i continued which means neither of us heard the other so i stopped and said obviously we cant convers with you - go ahead and say what you have to say. i then said ok i heard you, let me speak now. she says go ahead but as soon as the 1st phrase was out of my mouth she interrupted me. and continued to do so every time i tried to speak. she misinterpreted everything i said, extrapolated illogical conclusions, turned everything in a negative light for alex and a positive light for her son.

i told her i knew good and well alex had some attitude adjusments to make but that that didnt make it ok for her to come in crying because two little boys keep calling her bad names that make her feel bad.

so she informs me that her son is well-educated and doesnt say those kindsof words. she then says, i however know your daughter (insinuations hanging in the air) and that he comes in crying everyday b/c of alex and that he also came in crying b/c my dh scared him by telling him to leave alex alone.

i said, i'm sorry that happened, i wasnt aware of it and you're right my dh should not have gone to your son but to you to talk about things, as i'm doing, and dh and i will talk about this later, but that doesnt make it ok for you to terrorize my daughter.

she said as if, your dd knows my car and knew good and well it was me.

our conversation ended with me feeling frustrated, her feeling empowered.

i found out later how things really happened with dh and boy b : he talks to htem often on the way home from school, joking around with them (he's a kidder all the time) and racing them up the street when they're all 3 on bikes. they know him and know he is alex' dad. he passed tehm downhill on his bike and they stopped him to say something to him so he stopped and turned around and answered and before heading off again he said, hey, guys, by the way, be cool and stop giving alex a hard time.

wow. not very traumatic. how i wisdh dh had told me that before so i could have handled things differently on the phone with that heffer!

anyhow, this has been making me feel bad. but yesterday (a week after all this transpired!) the mom was in the school talking with all her old teacher friends and the principal (alex' male teacher i had talked to earlier in the year). of course she now knows we've been to see teachers twice already this year. and alex walked by and she said in a very loud voice, oh, that's the little brat whose mom called me and made a big scene over nothing. she's a trouble-maker yaddayadda yadda - alex didnt hear the rest b/c she wasno longer in ear shot.

i feel so angry and frustrated. i dont want anything bad to happen to this lady but i do wish she would realize she's being unfair, hypocritical, unreasonable, mean, and rude and that others would know that about her instead of only listening to her side and thinking i'm the b-i-t-c-h

and you know, a lady from my tiny village just contacted me on rav and we could get to knit and stuff to gether but i'm ashamed for her to learn who i am b/c the whole town thinks i'm a b++++ and alex is a demonchild b/c of this ordeal.

mishmishmushmashmishmwarsh

2010-10-03T08:32:00.008+02:00

This is a mishmash post in many ways. But first off a little explanation and i hope a ROFLOL moment for you. I cannot think of "mishmash" now without lol myself! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4JrYrNa1Kw And Rémi has gotten into that terrible "teen" talk. In french nonetheless. I never have any idea wth he's saying! i have ot say wat a bazillion times and often Christophe does too. And it's a running joke now to go "mishmushmwrashmash" whenever one of us doesnt understand the other.

So some knitting mishmishmushmashmishmwarsh :
My progress pics of ze swetaihr are in my flickr - see flickr pics below
I didnt manage to get through the sleeve as i had hoped.
My efforts were way-layed by a few other projects.

First up is a pair of christmas ornaments in the making. A friend from Ravelry has had some bad issues with flooding and has lost her christmas deco stuff (among other things). Things are looking up for her and her DH as they were able to sell their house and get a new one so hopefully she wont be dealing with this stuff anymore! In the meantime, another rav friend had the idea of all of us replenishing the tree with handmade ornaments. only specifications, white and sparkly. i love me some sparkly!!!!
Found this great yarn ahem ahem. yarn is not the right word for this carp. it's horrendous. BUT it's preteh! sparkleh! love it!
I have been hemming and hawing on this for about 2 months i guess and had ideas for it but never put them into execution. So finally this week i crocheted up two "balls". Now i have to soak in a sugar solution and blow a balloon up inside them to shape them into spheres and then decorate them. Yes, decorate, as in more sparkle :D lol!
I got balloons friday so i could do them. maybe this week?
we'll see.

Next up is a pair of socks i started in april!!! but since they're solid no frills socks and done 2 at a time, it makes for slow boring knitting. I should finish these any minute now but it's sheer torture. just put them aside you may say? i cant! hate to still have them on the needles!
they're ugly and have terrible messups in the heels but they're soon don, so there!!!!!
they'll be fine for just keeping my feet warm around the house this winter. These are the purple ones you can see in the flickr gallery.

Finally, the last monstrosity is just that..a monstrosity mrahahahaha! These are my monster mash socks. I cast them on on friday after work and have already knit the whold cuff of one. really cant believe that! i'm ususally so slow! But then again, i do choose to knit short cuffs as with commercial socks i always fold them down anyway. So story behind these : there's a group on ravelry that is doing a readalong knitalong. You read Mary Shelly's Frankenstein and knit up a pair of frankensocks, the idea being to use up scrap ends and make them frankenesque in their construction (you know, a little of this here, a little of that there all sewn up pele-mele) So, i happened to have a lot of tiny sample skeins of sock yarn from teh phat phiber box that i had no idea what to do with. the colors are the different artisan's interpretations of the 4 elements. quite an eclectic mixture of things. too little to do anything with and too sporadic to mix...so i thought ; )
So I have mashed together a ton of different yarns and mashed together two different sock patterns to come up with my monster mash socks.
I have listened on my ipod to the preface and letters of frankenstein. yes, i know that's cheating but i cant knit and read at the same time.
These are the hideous looking things around my ankle in the flickr gallery.

And now some general mishmishmushmashmishmwarsh:
the weather - the best knitting weather ever! love it! sitting in the house on the couch curled up with tea and knitting! yeah!!!!

Nest up, yummy mishmishmushmashmishmwarsh :
Christophe made us homemade pretzels saturday! they were GOOD!!!!!!!!!
there's a Mr pretzel that opened in montpellier and the kids love it and he came with us once and tasted alex' and had to go get one himself - rare!
so he decided he could make them. i warned hi mthat they're a PITA - never done them myself but i knew they had to be boiled then oven cooked and we all know how doughmaking can be a pain!
but he found a recipe online and set about it and they turned out perfect.
we ate them all up in one go :P

A little sucky mishmishmushmashmishmwarsh:
I am feeling so overwhelmed and fed up with things. i know i'm always complaining. i'm sorry. i know i should instead be thankful for all i have but all i can see is what i dont have : kids who are respectful, take care of their small responsibilities and help me out a little . a husband who supports me loves me and encourages me. friends i can call and go out for a tea or hot chocolate and cake and a little retail therapy with at the drop of a hat. friends around me period. being able to go out for tea etc without feeling guilty and judged.
I am really fedup really sick of how my life is right now. i am almost feeling i could just say f it all and come back home without the kids since ch wont let me brig them home. that's how bad i feel right now. i of course wouldnt but i feel that hopeless right now.

Some confusing mishmishmushmashmishmwarsh:
I wrote all of the above sunday morning. sunday evening, with as crappy as i have been feelng lately, and you can imagine how that affects my attitude, and thus teh attitude of those around me and thus my attitude and ...viscious cycle if you get my drift...
so sunday afternoon, huge blow up. divorce flying. sleeping on the pull-out bed in toy/craft/yoga/guest room. or not sleeping but crying is more like it. the whole 9 yards in other words.
well, once again the fire has been put out - for how long? we had our marriage counselor meeting today. Christophe suggested we go anyway and try again to make things work (how many times is this anyway?) i of course want to try again - i love him - i want this to work and he makes me think it's possible when he talks like this. but do i really think he can change? does he need to change more than me? can i change? do i want to?
ugh!

Finally some more levifying mishmishmushmashmishmwarsh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aIc6Ls-bLw&NR=1&feature=fvwp

This week's WIP

2010-09-27T20:20:00.003+02:00

I started a sweater mid-september. It's called Labyrinth. http://www.stitchdiva.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=SDS-046 It's a very curve-conscious pull-over with a deep revealing square neckline. Sex-ay.
I'm doing mine in bright orange (gasp! me!? orange!? wonders never cease!) with a pale gold trim.
So far it looks like this :
swatch

beginning back

I've since finished the bust shaping and a top of one sleeve. I hope to finish sleeve this week and get a good start on sleeve two this weekend.

Sooo...you win some, you lose some

2010-09-24T17:30:00.002+02:00

And this one I lost.
I prayed that if this was the path I was to follow that the doors be opened to me. They weren't so this ped nurse isnt for me :(
I'm sad because I really really enjoyed my clinicals in the maternity ward and think i would have been a good ped nurse whereas i dont feel that i'm a good ICU nurse nor a good computer crap person... But there must be something else for me out there...
I really just wish i knew what :/

So this weekend, I have plans : sweater knitting, yoga, craft room cleaning, afternoon in beziers with alex and christophe (and maybe remi - he was invited to a friend's house tomorrow but the friend's mom is sick - she still insists on Remi coming but i said we'd see how she felt tomorrow), a call with kendra and dianne if we can manage and to the parental units.
Just chillin' in other words : )...

ants in my pants

2010-09-24T14:12:00.002+02:00

i cant sit still
i cant think
i cant concentrate
the stupid nursing school is supposed to post the stupid test results today ...
I'm WAIIIITIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!
It's been sept 24 for 14 hours now!!!!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i've hit their site about 150 times today. and still no results.
i know i said i did very poorly so i shouldnt worry about it right. i wont be listed on teh list and that's all, right? but still, even though i know i'm probably not on the list, until i actually see the list i can't be 100% sure, right? So, here i am going craaaaaaaazy!!!!!!!!!!
COME ON for crying out LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My work day today = 0% productivity - really!

Ils auront ma peau

2010-09-22T18:25:00.000+02:00

I'm getting by the skin of my teeth at work - it's like a roller coaster :P! Tons of work all the time with chugachugas up hill and then aaaaahhhhh! on the next down hill then back up up and painfully up and then ahhhhh free fall and on and on!
I'm about to crawl out of my skin waiting for friday to get here to see if i passed that stupid exam.
I'm about to skin Alex alive with her talking back, whiting when blacking, and not eating no matter what we put on the table. She's already nothing but skin and bones and she chews up her food making little nasty food pellets that she can't swallow down and will sit there at the tabel for an hour just piddling!
Too badI don't have a very thick skin with all this going on - i could use it right now ;) .

Alex' teacher

2010-09-21T16:32:00.002+02:00

I think he's a pretty good guy. He talked to the kids first thing on maonday morning according to my DD.
He reviewed the class rules that they had made together at the beginning of the school year (just a few weeks ago) and expounded upon them to include a rule against any form of aggression. He asked the kids what aggression meant (first calling on three of the girls Alex had had probs with) and when no one could bring forth an appropriate answer, he helped them.
He reminded them that they had the right to not like everyone in the class and had the right to not play with so and so but did not have the right to ask others to not play with/ignore so and so. he said that was a form of aggression (i think harrassment is a concept 1. foreign to frenchculture 2. too hard to explain to kids so i think he used "aggression" instead which is fine...whatever you want to call it!). He said that if anyone was victim or witness to such behavior he wanted to know.
Alex' "friends" asked her to be friends with them again but she said she didnt want to be because they weren't real friends if they behaved like that.
I encouraged her to not hold grudges but agreed with her that true friends don't behave like that and that if she wanted to maintain her distance that was probably a good idea.
I'm still keeping a close eye on things. But i feel relieved the teacher took the bull by the horns (not often done here in France - it's more and ostridge (sp??? lol good lord i cant sp anymore!) culture than a bull culture ;) well, except in the bedroom lol! tmi but i'm just kidding)
I feel more positive and more hopeful for this society with its lack of justice, respect, and humanity that sometimes appals (sp again...good lord!) me.

More on my little girl...ugh!

2010-09-18T08:26:00.002+02:00

she and her classmates have been grouped in the same class for 3 years but last year the class dynamic was very unhealthy (i'm not talking to you anymore...hey girls, let's not talk to so and so today...oh, do you want to be our friend again today?) .
it bothered me a lot but i felt it was kids' probs and i shouldnt intervene other than talking to alex abot it and reminding her of the golden rule and stuff. i was hoping over the summer 1. that they would mix up the classes and 2. that the girls would grow up some
neither happened.
and my dd isnt innocent in all of this btw. she excludes with the best of them and apparently is often the instigator in spite all of the talkings here at the house, and towards the end, punishment form oh my dollz (a computer game) and from going out to play with her "friends" who i felt were bad influences, i.e. snooty spoiled brats.
anyhow, she's been the target of ostracisation for the past week but it's worse this year. they've grouped all of her friends over to their side to get them to not talk to alex anymore and they've started pushing and threatening too.
so i wanted to talk to her teacher who is also the school principal about this and see if he could help foster a more positive, civic environment in class
he was very condescending and basically said that you cant do anything about those kinds of things, that its just girls being girls which i totally disagree with and told him so. i also told him that if everyone just says nothing can be done, nothing will ever change and get better.
i told him also it wasnt just hurt feelings and childish behavior, that i felt it had reached the level of moral harrassment which at the ripe old age of 10 is absolutely ridiculous and unacceptable.
i think i'm working myself up all over again typing this!!!!!
but i feel very helpless and disarmed. i know alex' behavior is problematic too and that she can be a right snot with other kids and with adults as well. yet i've tried so hard to raise my kids to be polite! i fell so inadequate and discouraged with it all.

My little girl

2010-09-11T09:04:00.003+02:00

Is growing so fast.
She is a sweet, affectionate, caring person. She's also very independant and opinionated, head-strong and super (overly) observant which are also great characteristics even if a little hard for a mother to accept in her 10 YO!!!
You know, every one of those last characteristics could be said of her dad too! How funny! Maybe that's why they're hard for me to deal with?
Anyhow, I got in from work last night to find the kitchen door shut and a hand written note asking everyone to please stay out posted on it.
She did allow me in to put my tupperware in the sink and give her a kiss but only with my eyes closed and her leading me LOL!
She also was sweet enough to bring me a glass of zero coke as i wasnt allowed in for that either ;).

So why all the secrecy? She had heard me tell DH the night before that we could have a salad with fresh figs and apples cut up in it and a yummy olive oil vinaigrette for dinner. So she made us salad plates with all the fruit cut up in it and everything. What a sweetie! And she has made yogurt cake a few times with supervision. This time she did it all by herself! Well, except she called her big brother in to break the eggs ;).
Everything tasted delicious and you would never know she had been in the kitchen as she cleaned up after herself!

While she did all of this, I was able to do some yoga :D

She's so funny too because she is obsessed with boobies. She's been wanting "some of those" for over a year, talking about it all the time, looking in the mirror daily to see if she has any, talking about all her friends and their boobies or lack there-of, and begging me to buy her a bra (Christophe is highly agaisnt that - "she doesnt need one, that's silly" - so up til now she's only gotten those tank top slip things). Over the past month, they have gone from being convex to being, well, less convex LOL! And she is sooooo proud! She keeps coming up to me and her dad going look! look!

ohhhhh, my little girl is growing up so quick!!!!

Oops!

2010-09-06T20:42:00.005+02:00

So I was supposed to study for this? ohhh, now you tell me. lol
just kidding, i knew studying was expected in order to pass the pediatric nursing school entry exam, BUT i think i was a little cocky. You know, over 6 years ICU experience yaddayadda should be enough to get me through without studying...
I'll jsut look at the nurse's decree. I DID do that! Honestly. All Sunday afternoon.
So first part of test was on nursing foundation material. Ummmm... well, it's scary to say that i don't have the foundations and yet i'm practising in an ICU. Ha!
It was a lot of really piddly questions on obscure parts of human anatomy. Not really obscure, but just,... why do i need to know which part of the ear has the nerve endings that permit you to hear? I'm not a doctor! And why would i be so concerned as to know...oh whatever, a bunch of crap! I'm tired and can't remember the questions, but i really was guessing at almost everything!

So then, the psychotechnical questions. Pretty much logic tests. Thought i would kick-A on this part. Well, it kicked my A!
There were 6 sections and the questions in each section start off easy and increase in difficulty. I fly along and then squeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! slam on my brakes... ok, next section. Rinse and repeat.
Thing is no time to think. I only had 90 minutes for 90 questions! Sheesh!
So tell me, if you invest 35000 euros in 2 accounts, one at 10% and one at 8% and your interests come to 3820 euros, how much did you invest in the account renumerated at 8%?
I think i could have figured this out when i was in 8th grade algebra but now??? No idea!!!!
Do you know?

WTH

2010-09-04T17:59:00.001+02:00

Pediatric nursing school written entry exam is monday.
I'm still going to go but things are pretty shakey around here. They have been for a while but i was strangely feeling ok last week in spite of the turmoil and strife and incertainty. Maybe it was that i was so relieved to finish getting stuff together for the ped school and because i was busy helping kids get back into the swing of things with school (which btw went very well) that i didnt really focalise on it. who knows? but right now, it's all kind of cumulated and hit the fan. I think this next week is going to be a decisive week in our little part of the world. It's very scary and very painful. I hope I can be strong enough to make it through for me and for the kids.

Fire

2010-08-31T10:07:00.002+02:00

I got my funding paper work all done! YEAH! Took it to Montpellier yesterday. While there, I kind of, well... my credit card was smoking :P
I got a new purse - I've been needing one, i only use totes i get for free and stuff and my wallet was one a friend gave me in a swap and it was fallng apart so i finally found a purse and wallet i liked and got them. the purse is huge and very colorful hehehe. lots of pockets (and i mean lots!) so i can have a place for everything and everything in its place.
I also got a new skirt and a new dress to wear to my written test and then to my oral test (positive thinking, right?).4I might have spent a little too much ;P

On the way home i saw more smoke. This time it was real. Actually I had seen smoke on the way there too but that happens around here a lot at the end of summer. Lots of dryness and heat.
But the interstate overhead sign said to get off the interstate. great! so i got off and got lost, of course. found my way only to find myself in bumper to bumper traffic. Called Alex to tell her I would be late because of traffic. That was at 5 pm.
We snaked along watching the pillars of smoke billow up on the right while airplanes went back and forth to the mediterranean on my left to swoop down and pick up water and go back and dump it.
At 8 pm, I called back almost in tears because i couldnt get home. Everywhere i could turn was blocked off by policemen and they wouldnt let you stop and ask them where to go! and there were still lines and lines of traffic, only now in a tiny village! poor people in that village, huh.
DH yelled at me because i was too silly to know the back roads. grrrrrr!!!!!!!!
He called one of his friends who lives there and the friend and his brother came and led me through backroads to a village i knew and could get home from. I felt better because even they who know the place like theback of their hands had trouble getting through because of blocked roads. Showed DH! Anyhow, i got home safe. Many were not so lucky and had to sleep all night in the gym in the village i was stuck in. A few homes have been destroyed but so far, no injuries or deaths so that's good!
The fire has burned 2000 hectars (50,000 acres) of bushlands and is still active.

One step closer

2010-08-30T11:39:00.002+02:00

So my boss agreed to fill out his part of the paper-work for my ped nurse school funding.
Now it's up to the commission to decide if my project is worth the funding (salary for the year plus 9000 euros in school fees), to me to do my best on entrance exams (written plus if i pass oral) and the ped school oral committee if i get that far.
Wish me luck! Prayers that God's will be done. Prayers that I be open to God's guidance in my life.

Kendra,thinking of you;
Mom, hope your back's better.
Allison, if you are ever on here, I love you.
Dianne, really missing you, hope you're in house SOON!!!
Dad, glad you're here :D (that's a smiley face in case you didnt know)
Sulky, when shall we meet again ;D
ChelleC, thank you for your continued prayers!
Caroline, how have you been doing? haven't "seen" you around much.
Heather, hope things are looking up and easing up for you.
LOVE to all of you !

cough spat cough cough gasp spat GAAAASP

2010-08-29T10:23:00.002+02:00

That's me trying to get my head out of the water.
I must be the world's best treader cause it seems that's all i ever do anymore :P
I had a wonderful time in scotland. Met Julia! Learned a few things. Bought too many things. Saw beautiful countryside and an amazing castle. Learned about weaving in said castle. Saw a great bagpipe/dancing troop in said castle. Had a great lunch with some wonderful women in said castle. Ate two whole blocks of this incredible vanilla fudge from gift shop in said castle. And all this I shared with Julia - she was as wonderful funny witty fun in person as online! And she did a much better job blogging all this than i did so if you want to know more... go here http://sulkycat.blogspot.com/

Since I've been back i have been soooooooo busy!!!!! I worked 4 12 hour days the first week back and 3 12 hour days this past week. And only 2 of those in the ICU. The others were in surgical wards - I have never worked in any ward other than ICU and it was very disorienting and difficult for me and I was WORN OUT! I finished the last day in tears. I told the lab guy three times to come back later cause i hadnt had time to go through and see who needed blood work done yet. he came back yet again and i siad pleaase dont make me talk or i'm going to cry. the doctor then comes in and starts in on me because i hadnt fixed up the stupid name chart (who cares! the patients were where they were supposed to be and everyone was doing fine! give me a break!) and then i really did cry. see a pattern here? notice i cry a lot? i'm a big cry-baby. how embarrassing. lol!

anyhow, in between all that i've been trying to get my financial aid file together for pediatric nursing school. PITA!!!!! And looks like my job may not accept my request again :P
We shall see... In the meantime I finally managed to get to nursing school (that was quite a disaster! the school director and her secretary must think i'm a total ditz! they would be correct in assuming that ) and they filled out their part of my file. I asked non-challantly how many candidates there were... 359!!!! "OH," says I... "For how many spots?" 53.... Hmmm... well, looks like i'll still be working at St Privat. Grrrrr....
Whatever, I'll do my best and as for the rest, God's will will be done I hope. Kind of still waiting for Him to speak up on that one. Of course, i guess He would speak to me if I would give Him the opportunity, right? ho-hum!

I have managed some crafting during all this. Check out my flicker page at the bottom and you can see a shawl, a baby sweater (not for me, for Elodie, a girl i work with) and some baby hats (a crocheted hat i designed for the knitmore girls head to toe preemie project contest) as well as pics from scotland and from carcassonne where i had to fly out of - we went with thte kids for a stroll before i caught my plane.

I always seem to have huge long posts that are ecclectic and boring tryign to get things back p to date with the intention of blogging more regularly afterwards but then i let it go until the next big boring post lol!

Un après-midi sympa

2010-07-31T21:40:00.002+02:00

Today I went to Montpellier with Rémi. We had a great time and met up with two ravelry friends, Maud et Karine, who showed me 2 new wool stores - one of them i REALLY REALLY liked.
Unfortunately I spent a ridiculous amount of money and even worse i think, increased my stash by a ton! My stash is already overwhelming me and making me feel anxious :-P !
But it was sale-time at Phildar and they had some great deals!!!! I purchased enough yarn for 3 adult sweaters and 2 baby sweaters for 64 euros - that is quite a steal!!!
I then purchased yarn for another baby sweater at the first of the two yarn stores my friends showed me. Gorgeous rowan stuff :D
And then at the 2nd of the 2 unknown stores i FINALLY found the yarn i was lookng for. I wanted to start a new sweater that my friend Julia got me the pattern for. It's called Snow White by Ysolda Teague. But i didnt have any yarn for it. I thought I did! I was planning on using one in my stash and was sure it was the right weight but on closer inspection, it wasn't. SW calls for aran and i dont have much aran weight, definitely not enough in the same color to make a sweater out of. i dont particularly like yarn that thick. And to tell the truth I'm a little afraid it's going to make me look like a cow :P !
But, anyhow, i wanted to start this sweater because i have to have a swatch for the UK knit-camp in Scotland (only 2 weeks away!!!!!!!) and thought, hmmmm... might as well swatch for a sweater right? and the yarn i wanted to use for SW being a very light lavendar, it seemed just right for the class swatch . but voilà, the yarn wasnt right for the sweater OR for the swatch, which is to be in aran as well! SO..... I was on a mission. Had given up as none of hte yarn i could find was in the right weight. And then...I found it!!!!!! Debbie Bliss Cashmerino aran in petrol :D
I purchased enough + 1 just in case and also purchased one ball of the same in cream to do my class/sweater swatches. YEAH!
So guess what I'll CO soon ;)
I spent more on this one sweaters yarn however, than on all the phildar yarn put together ... i better like it!

As for last post's cryptic message, I didnt mean to frighten. I am just really having probs with DH right now and that, along with questions about my job, my life, my parenting, my purpose in life, and all the other probs already going on in my marriage ... well, I just needed prayers and it's too much to go in to. Thank you all who did think of me.
I love and appreciate you.

Sorry about that flicker thing in the middle of my page. don't know how to get rid of it :P

Prayers

2010-07-27T08:16:00.001+02:00

Greatly needed if youfeel so inclined.
Thank you.

Love and comfort

2010-07-20T19:06:00.005+02:00

I have been working on my "love and comfort" shawl for quite some time, picking it up now and then for a row or two. It's just a very simple shawl that you can knit without really thinking = perfect "prayer shawl" knitting. I have a mantra for my knitknitknit and purlpurlpurling. It's faith hope love and sometimes the full "and these three things remain, fait,hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love." And the intention is to give this to someone who needs it when i finish. A hug around their shoulders bursting with positive energy and love.
But i have trouble meditating and my mind wanders to my problems, complaints, upsets, things i need to be doing other than knitting.
And as things have been pretty rough on the marriage front lately, i'm afraid there are more tears and anger and hurt and anxiety knit into this than prayers and positivity.
And I had no other yarn i thought would look nice with this so i had to bind off which makes it fairly small.
So do i give a skimpy hurt filled hug to someone? Or should i keep it to myself so as not to spread the negativity? I can't decide.

Finishing out my vacation

2010-07-09T10:19:00.005+02:00

So i last left off with the 4th of july i believe.
I have been BUSY since then :-P!
Monday was a whirlwind of activity - yoga, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking cooking cooking (choc zuccini muffins, choc chip cookies, zuccini crumble) to take to the mountains, preparing bags for the mountains, spinning for tdf, deciding on what knitting and spinning to take and getting that together, skeining a hank at 11:30 pm - duh!, and just a miriad of little triffling details. phew! and little to show for it other than my tour de fleece entry

Tuesday we were off to the mountains by 7:30. I took a hand spindle and a natchwoolie phatphiber box bfl sample with me for spinning and brandywine, love and comfort shawl, and a baby sweater i was working on. In the car i cast off the baby sweater but i still need to weave in ends and crochet a button band and collar around it and sew on buttons.
When we got to the mountains, i tidied up, watched the kids and my little 5 YO niece, Elisa, and made lunch. After lunch we went to a little lake and got ate up by mosquitos. I have never in my life seen so many. I looked down and had 10 on my right forearm and about freaked out!
That afternoon we went to a really neat pool while the men did the driveway.
The kids had a ball. i spun on my spindle while watching them frollick. Two different kids with their parents came up to ask what i was doing. They thought it was neat - a lot of others gave me wierd looks. I'm used to it ;-)
The cute blond about to go down the slide is Elisa.
We had a little gettogether that evening with some friends of he family.
Next morning went by quickly, tidying, sweeping, preparing bags, spinning when i got a chance, making lunch and then we were off - hiking, hiking hiking. MOSQUITOS!

That evening we had to prepare the tent and start a fire. We had more MOSQUITOS!
Other than the MOSQUITOS, it was really nice! Beautiful scenery, sharing some neat experiences with the kids, challenging ourselves - we've hiked as a family quite a bit but never with backpacks, carrying enough sustenance for 24 hours, tents and sleeping bags and stuff... and never sleeping all night in a tent out in the middle of nowhere!

We had roasted marshmellows too! That rocked ;)
We had a good laugh that night too as Rémi - oh fearless one - "whispered" in a very loud very scared whisper "le jument!" (the mare). There were several mares and their babies living out in the open by the lake we were camping by and he was afraid they would walk on us while we were sleeping. Even though we had all just drifted off to sleep (all but him) it was still pretty funny. It was a little less funny at 3 a.m. when he woke us up again with very audible whispers of "le jument!" again. Now we tease him by pointing behind him and yelling "le jument" or even better imo and since i made it up ;-) "le lapin angora!" (the angora bunny)
After our hike, my plantar fasciitis was really acting up. And you know what? When you hike up a mountain, the next day you have to hike back down ... The first half of the hike was ok. Thank God it was all down hill ;-).

And we had a nice lunch brake with a freezing cold stream to chill us (it's from the ice caps, so still freezing cold). Only prob was MOSQUITOS and we were introduced to some more little friends - biting ants - i stepped in the anthill - how intelligent! We grilled more marshmellows too :D

Meet my friend pikachou.
I swear this is not a dog.
She's so funny.
Always in the action!

My feet were killing me. I made it all the way back down but about 15 minutes away from the house, i really couldnt do it anymore. I was in tears and limping liek crazy. So I sat down with Rémi and about 10000 MOSQUITOS (oh and biting ants, did i mentionthe biting ants?) and waited for my ever-courageous and determined Alex and her papa to finish the hike and come back and get us in the car... I hated to have pooped out so close to the finish line, but i really couldnt do it anymore. Oh, and did i mention it was very hot and we had no more water? UGH!
We then had a snack and WATER!!!!!!!! And packed up the car and headed back home. After a little nap, I cast off my love and comfort shawl (more on this later)
And now we're home! Thank God!
It was so lovely to sleep in my own bed. To shower! To eat a meal freshly made and sitting down at a table! Aaaah!!!! Pure bliss! Oh and no MOSQUITOS!!!
And this A.M.? NOTHING! I'm doing nothing!!!!!!!! Letting my feet rest! Because tomorrow, back to work! And not in y office but in the ICU. They are having trouble with summer vacation replacements so I'm back in the ICU for 2 weeks. On my feet and doing nursing stuff! For 12.5 hours! Will I remember how???
Wish me luck :D

4th of July

2010-07-05T10:22:00.004+02:00

Happy birthday USA :D
Yesterday was quite a busy and productive day for me.
I got a lot done in the morning : picked up, actually spent about 15 min with my bible and prayer, yoga, spinning, cooking 2 dishes to take to the expat 4th of july bbq (i made mom's potato salad and meme's/mom's broccoli rice casserole - yum!). Only dissappointment is not finishing (ha! hardly even touching) my brandywine shawl - but i did include a pic of it's actual state.
Then after a quick shower we had to go to Pomerols to get the kids and then head to Pezenas for the BBQ.
It was very nice - good music, good friends, good food. Other than fireworks, extended family, and the USA, what more can you ask for, right?
Thanks for hosting Linda! It was so good to see you and Alison! We need to do it more often.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery

2010-07-03T22:15:00.003+02:00

I have a "body double" in ravelry. This is someone who's measurements are very similar to mine. We can throw ideas off each other and compare how certain garments fit our body type that way. I haven't had too much convo with RobinM but i have been "spying" on her ;-)
I've been keeping up with her blog in fact where she shows some of the beautiful clothes she sews for herself and her loved ones. She's very talented and quite prolific. And on top of that she's always got great ideas that she has often copied from someone else she's spied on ;-). And now I'm going to copy her :D
So one thing she mentioned was how another blogger blogged about her vacation. I'm on vacation and I'm going to blog all about mine :D
Yesterday after I got in from work I felt absolute instantaneous relief and relaxation. It helped that the kids had been left by DH at my MIL's house that afternoon. And the vacation started great with my new swift/winder (see yesterday's post)
DH invited me "out to eat". He grilled out lamb chops and we had caramelized zuccini with it. He also served me a scoop of mint choc chip ice cream. Very nice :D. I then helped him with some sawing he had to do (my help was to stand on the planks so they wouldn't fall or crack apart ffrom the weight hehehe) And after that gruelling work, I knit some on my fuschia cloud.
After a nice shower I made a list that I'll talk about another time (again, i'm copying off of Robin who copied off another blogger)
Today started a little badly - big fight and lots of hurt feelings. But we talked it out a little later. Still hurt feelings and lack of accord but white flag was put back in the air. We spent the whole morning cleaning house - really cleaning - it's been a while and it needed it. It feels GREAT to have a nice clean house. Though my desk and craft area are still dishevelled. That's for another day.
After housecleaning i had a cool shower as i was burning up and then slapped on a face mask (thank you Julia, sulkycat :D).
Then we went to Béziers after lunch to get camping things for me. We're all camping out Wed night but it was in the air as to whether i tag along or not because of my stupid heel spur. I decided to try so we had to get sleeping bag, windbreaker, and backpack for me. Everyone else was geared up earlier in the week. DH plans on taking the kids hiking and camping while i'm in scotalnd in august and this is a test run. A test run, too for the chemin de compostelle. More on that later too.
While out, I got 3 pairs of scissors and a spool of black and of white thread and some tailor's chalk to start working on my building up my sewing kit. Now, I have GOT to stop buying things for a while! YIKES!
And I also got my self another of my fave pairs of shoes in black :D on sale :D :D! Promise a future post on that too.
After getting home, I called my BFF.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENDRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I spun (today is day one of the tour de fleece). I'm trying to spin a three ply sock yarn in a colorway i call Carrignan.

And I worked a little more on fuschia cloud. I should be able to finish it tomorrow or maybe monday.
We went "out to eat" again - meaning i had nothing to do. You see I ha told DH we could go out to eat since kids were at mamie's house and this was his compliance ;-)
Today, same meal as yesterday except replace lamb chops with T-bone - cooked very rare. Yum! I'm definitely not a vegetarian ;-P.
And now I'm going to shower again and hit the hay.
Night night.

A little levity

2010-07-02T18:01:00.003+02:00

Sorry all dear friends and family for the depressing post last week. We are all doing much better since then.
I feel better thanks to all of your responses, sharing of stories, encouraging words (here and on ravelry) and thanks to talking to the doc i had originally talked to on the phone. She told me that heels are hard to anesthetise - you have to go deep to get past the thick epiderme there. (yes i'm cheating, wan't remember how to spell that word in english hehehe) and especially after apologizing to Rémi and letting him know how i felt about it and after having taken such good care of his bandage every day since. He knows I love him and am trying to do my best. I've let Alex sit with me and watch and i've explained how to do bandages - she's always very attentive to people who are hurting physically or emotionally. She says she would never want to be a nurse but she has really got a soft wonderful touch and sensitivity. I definitely won't push but she would make a great caregiver.

So a little fun today. I am SOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been wantinig a skein winder and swift for quite some time but the price has held me back. Christophe made me a makeshift swift out of my music stand but it took up tons of space and was at a funny awkward angle.
I finally broke down and got one because I saw an add on Ravelry for not only a swift / skein winder at a reasonable price, but it even inluded a counter that helps you determine how much yardage is in your skein! HALLELUJAH!
Now i'll actually know how much handspun i have to work with!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got it today. In only 30 minutes, I had already set up the swift and winder, read directions and caked 2 skeins, all ready to CO my next Seasons of lace KAL shawl!!!!! YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE!!!!!

I was upset when i got the box cause i thought for sure it wasnt my winder/swift cause it weighed so little. And then when i opened it, i was even more disappointed cause all i saw under bubble wrap was a floral print and i was trying to figure out if i had purchased a bag or something i didnt remember getting. But it actually was a pretty bag for storage they included free of charge.

If you're thinking of getting a skein winder/swift, I would definitely recommend The Oregon Wood Worker Workerhttp://www.yarnswifts.com/store/product.go?id=2 &catId=2. Very professional, excellent service, super quick shipping, excellent quality/price. The product itself works BEAUTIFULLY!!!!!!!!!! I have perfect little cakes!!! They're so cute and practical - i'm so excited! Again, the swift and winder weigh next to nothing. They are super quick to assemble and to disassemble. There is a pretty bag for storage so it's discreet when not in use. My grade = E for excellent!
Thank you Peter for a wonderful product!

The ER

2010-06-29T11:17:00.006+02:00

Rémi and I had a quick trip to the ER yesterday as he sliced his heel open on a jagged rock or a mussel shell (it was underwater, he doesnt really know) while at the beach with a friend and his friend's dad yesterday.

I determined it needed stitches and called the ER doctor (I know them since I work there) to see whether we should come or not, and she said yes, so we got in car and headed to Béziers.
Unfortunately that doctor got off work in the meantime and was replaced by one I really do not care for who is cold and haughty. She asked if Rémi would need the gas as I told her he was afraid of shots and was very sensitive and I said yes. So Rémi had the gas-mask and she did a local anesthetic and cleaned and started to stitch. He was screaming the whole time.
So I said "Could you please give hime more anesthetic?" and she did, and all went well from there.

Queue record scratch and let's start again.

That's how it should have happened. This is how it did happen :

I thought it might need stitches so called DH (who used to be a ski-slope monitor and is clear-headed, calm, cool, collected, and experienced in first-aid) to get his opinion. He felt i should either use steri-strips or stitch it up myself. Let me jsut say, I have never put stitches in - taken them out, yes, put them in, no. Doctors do that here, not nurses. He then siad, maybe we can justleave it like that. True, had the cut been on say his arm or calf I would have felt the same way, but being on his heel, where there's all the weight and movement, i felt it was necessay. So I called the ER doctor in spite of Christophe's mumbling and grumbling in the background that that was unneccessary (I know them since I work there) to see whether we should come or not, and she said yes. So we got in car after Christophe made it known that i was being stupid and backing up the ER with trivial things whereas i should just go to my main doctor and have him do it and headed to Béziers. I did call our main doctor real quick while in the car to see if he could do it. DH was right about the fact that ER should be for life-threatening or body-fonction threatening emergencies. My doc said he didnt do stitches in his office, to go straight to ER. So there DH!
Unfortunately that doctor got off work in the meantime and was replaced by one I really do not care for who is cold and haughty.
She asked if Rémi would need the gas as I told her he was afraid of shots and was very sensitive and I said yes.
So Rémi had the gas-mask and she did a local anesthetic and cleaned and started to stitch. He was screaming the whole time. And I was absoutely mortified with embarassement. The doctor was looking at me like she just could not believe Rémi's attitude and the nurse was staring at me too like, good lord, make him shut up! And everyone in thehallway could hear him screaming while it's jsut 3 stitches for crying out loud! And he almsot kicked the Dr 3 times he was mthrashing around so much. So I told the nurse who is a silly beginning girl who is awkward in her gests to hold the mask to Rémi's face so i could do a better job of holding him down and i laid across his legs and held his foot very tightly so the Dr could stitch him up. He still kept screaming and squirming. I kept telling him to calm down and be courageous that it couldnt hurt after all the anesthetic she put in + the gas. I then made him feel silly and belittled by telling the doc when she came back in that he's very sensitive. He, bless his heart only said he was sorry i had to take him to ER and that he had tried not to scream but couldnt cause it really hurt. He then described all she had done...yes, he did feel it. We had assumed he was being over-dramatic (in my defense, only slightly, he does haev a tendance to melo-drama).

In other words, in my embarassement, I sided with the doctors and tried to get him to be quiet instead of standing up for my son and telling that stupid doctor to put more anasthetic in. I feel like the worst, most selfish, unfeeling, insensitive, out-of-touch with her kid mother in the world. In short, I let my boy down. And I really am angry at myself for it. This is not the only time I have acted in ways that I'm ashamed of to my children.

My blog is WIP for work in progress. Meaning I am a WIP. I dont know if I believe that anymore. Either there is no master crafter or God has decided I wasn't worth working on anymore and threw me in the UFO bin (ufo = unfinished object); I feel i need to just be frogged (frog = ripped back out).

My shimmery Skuld

2010-06-27T21:55:00.003+02:00

Sküld is one of three sisters in norse mythology who cares for Yggdrasil, the world tree. The three sisters not only care for Yggdrasil, but they also spin the threads of life. Sküld spins the future.
This pattern is so beautiful and in my opinion is perfectly symbolic in its representation of Sküld : the intertwining braids are like our lives that are all connected and yet diverging, pulling apart then pulling back in.

My vision of the future is ever changing and right now it is scary and mysterious and very uncertain. Yet there’s always hope, right?
So for my Sküld, I chose a tonal shifting color but it's still solid enough to let the pattern shine through. It’s shades of mysterious fear-inspiring blood-red crimsons (the colorway is called Volturi ;) ).

Yet isnt red also bold and corageous? I’m knitting some courage into my future! As well as some hope with the threads of silver woven through-out!
I haven't decided if I really knit this courage for myself or if i knit it for one of 2 special people. I'm waiting for it to whisper it's owner to me. It will.

Quickie

2010-06-14T15:41:00.002+02:00

Cause I'm at work :^0 !
Had a great weekend : Sat was world wide knit in public day (yes, Kendra, that does exist lol!)
and i got to hang out and chat and knit with 4 other french ladies in a nice little park in Montpellier next to a duck pond; there was the smell of weed (of the maryjane kind) in the air, plenty of piercings abound and even a man playing a violin lol! Such a lovely environnement ;)
But seriously it was great and I managed to recuperate my lost baby sweater and almost finish it - i have finished it since :D Pics to follow.
Then Sunday was relaxing - by that i mean i did absolutely nothing :P
But i did talk to bff (read you if you're kendra lol) and even though our conversation could have been about better things, i was very glad to get to talk to her (read you if you're kendra) and i hope we get to do it more often.
Things were a little less than super mommy with the kids this weekend though :(
I can't say "i did my best" To be honest, i wanted to be left alone, so i pretty much went wherever they werent, feeling guiltybut knowing that if i was in the room with them too long it wouldnt end well anyway and today now that i'm at work i feel even worse about that attitude.
But, I'm a work in progress, right? ho-hum. I wish the master Potter would at least fix that little part as too much is leaking out :(
This week at work is going to be rough - new ward opening up. I'm so sick of it :P
I got my pediatric nurse entryexam app packet off. HEAR YE HEAR YE! THE EXAM IS SEPT 6! I expect a flood of reminders the two weeks leading up and hourly reminders starting 3 days before LOL!!!!!
Will I finally feel fulfilled professionally if i become a ped nurse? only time will tell, if that's in my life's plan that is.

Hello

2010-06-09T20:35:00.002+02:00

Not much going on. Just a quick hello.
I have been trying to stay off puter so much and read my bible and pray a little more. Its going ok.
I have been extremely tired for some reason these days so havent done any yoga or moved more than a cm ...great :P
Knitting wise my brain doesnt want to work so i put my lace shawl aside 'brandywine) and cast on for another baby sweater - this time NO STRIPES! and THICK YARN! In other words, instant gratification knitting ; )
DH and I had a talk yesterday. It was a good talk. But I dont know what I think about it.
I am anxiously awaiting our counseling session - it was supposed to be june 3 but the lady called to reschedule (and that after we missed the original one because i had written down 4:15 and they had written down 3:15 : P.
The kids' school is starting to wind down.
But summer hasnt wound up yet...we've had some hot days where the kids jumped in pool and all but the next day would be ickey. Today it was gray, windy, and sprinkling all day;
I'd like to ask, if you have it in yuor heart, to keep a few people in mind / prayers - my bff (yes you ;) ) my sister still and a few other friends who are going through some very difficult times.

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-06T10:00:00.002+02:00

If you've been following along, you might know i've been really wanting to learn to sew for a while but the sewing machine i bought a few years ago was total crap, never worked, and would cost more to fiw than it was worth.
Our aunt gave us a (very) old one. Machine repairman laughed out loud when he saw it and said, uh... no! not worth fixing. it had a huge motor thing on the back of it connected to a transformer connected to a plug and then plugged into the top of the machine with a crazy, too short cable; really wierd.
DH said he'd get me one if i'd stop collecting peices of poop machines at the house. So yesterday in Montpellier i went into a sewing machine shop and the lady was so nice! She showed me one that was perfect in her opinion for a beginner. Very straightforward, no bells and whistles, but all the neccessities, and extremely easy to use. I told her I'd think about it. I called DH and even if he can often be a jerk, he is also often a big sweetie. Yesterday he was a sweetie ;).
He looked it up on the internet while i was on the phone and read up on it, confirming all the shop owner said, but saying it was 20 euros less on the net - i told him i'd rather pay 20 more but have the lady show me how to use it a little and have the customer service near me. So, he said "if you promise to use it and not let it jsut sit there collecting dust, go get it - it's my birthday present to you."
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The lady spent about 1.5 hours with me showing me everything from A to Z - how to fill up the cannette (bobbin?), thread the machine (it has an automatic threader - cool :) ), how to change the feet and what the different ones are for, and how to clean it. She then watched me do all she just showed me and gave me her card so i can call when need be. Also online, they were offering a sewing kit, and i mentioned this to her and she threw about 10 extra bobbins, a tape measurer, and a whole pack of new needles in there for me.
I'm so so so excited! I pulled out an elephant baby quilt i started a few years ago in a quilting class i took and that has just been languishing in my closet and started test sewing those up - it is perfect!!!! So easy to use! I'm so excited!
I'm going to get a sewing book soon so I can make things for myself and Alex :D

We also have our new family memebers. And one of them even layed an egg for us already ! lol! She even had the courtesy to do it in the mezzenine DH built for them.

I finished a pair of socks.

I lost the baby sweater I was working on in Montpellier yesterday 8-O !!!!!
But i relocated it by calling all the stores i had gone to lol! I'll pick it up next weekend.

Oh well, ttfn, gotta go see what kids are up to.

Life

2010-06-02T21:47:00.002+02:00

So in our ravelry group a lot of us seem to be going through some difficult transitions and we're trying to work our ways out of it with each other's support and encouragement.

We were to set goals. My goal is to be more spiritually and mentally in tune with my life - family career faith...

So my mini-goals for the next week are to take off ipod at home (this means i can listen on commutes or walks) , stop internet until after kids are in bed, and start my day with prayer and meditation and bible passage.

I started this afternoon with no ipod or puter. i had a nice evening. i actualy made a decent meal (white chicken chili), did some laundry, talked to kids without rolling my eyes to stop my ipod...
I feel it was a good start and i'm happy with my goals and my meeting them today.

On the heel/foot pain:
finally went to doc even though the worst of the pain is over. he immediately thought of a heel spur and sent me to have an xray and it was confirmed. what irks me is that i had a terrible time twice in the past with my left foot and the radiologist was like 'there's nothing at all wrong with you" and made me feel like a stupid whiney-butt baby. yet when i looked up heel spur, i found that the calcification that causes the spur comes from fasciitis (an inflammation of the tendon running along the bottom of your foot) that over time causes the formation of the calcannean spur and at the beginning stages you may have no xray proof of the inflammation. what i'm getting at is, the pain i was having a few years back was probably this problem in its early stages.
thanks, jerk :P
i have certain risk factors - some i can work on, others not : overweight, flat feet, jogging or hiking - dh really really exaggerates on the hikes - 5 km? pshaw! we'll do 25! your feet hurt? pshaw, you're always complaining about something. ugh!!!!

Anyhow, at least now i know what it is. and i have a podologue appointment so he will make special soles for me. That and anti - inflammatories are about the only things you can do. prevention is best.
so, it you have flat feet (or on the contrary high arches), are overweight, over 45 - be kind to your feetsies and stretch properly before hikes, walks, jogs, and most of all if you feel pain, STOP and rest.
Oh, and apparently it's not good to walk bare-footed on hard surfaces (which i do allllll the time :P)

May 29

2010-05-29T11:12:00.003+02:00

How lame is that for a title.
Obviously no creative juices are flowing today :P
Just a few pics, a few lamentations, and some news.

I'm working on a baby sweater and I just finished the first sleeve. One sleeve, the hood, and loads and loads of weaving in ends and seaming and embroidery to do...Thought I was near done, but when I think of what's left ... :P

I'm working on a shawl I just started this week - it's soooooo pretty and soft and cuddly and such a bright pink it really makes me happy :D

And just cause it's cute (though she was cuter ten milliseconds before the pic snaped)

Lamentations...My God I just keep putting on weight. I can't stop eating and cause of my foot/heel/ankle pains I can't burn off the calories by running. I can't stop binging.
I feel very restless and high-strung and yet don't want to do anything at all besides sit on my butt and knit, surf ravelry, and listen to books or podcasts. I know this is all very unhealthy for me - i feel i need to fast (from food, technology, and knitting) but that would be taking every single pleasure out of my life. Yet by taking these trivial pleasures out of the forefront for a while, it would maybe let me refind more healthy normal pleasures and rebalance my life as i was talking about last time. Find time for God, kids, husband, taking care of myself.
I don't know if I can or want to give up all these things for a few weeks. I have a lot of projects I want to finish on the needles anyhow...

And for the news, well...I'll make you wait a little for it but it has to do with additions to the family...

Just to share

2010-05-24T09:30:00.004+02:00

And for me to rememeber and reflect upon as I'm feeling disconnected and lsot spiritually this past year and a half.

Searching for God
Read 1 Kings 19:11-13

The LORD says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

-Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)

THE waves drenched us as the whale-watching boat pitched, but I was having the time of my life enjoying a boat trip along the Oregon coast. I scanned the surface of the water for a glimpse of the touted gray whale. Would I see a fountain-like spout or a flurry of spray from the slap of a mammoth tail? I didn't know what to expect, but I was sure it would be magnificent.

After an hour's tour, we shuffled back to our room. We were on the balcony overlooking the ocean, nursing our disappointment, when a small spray of water announced the presence of a whale. No fountain of water, or leap from the surface announced the whale's presence, but the moment thrilled my heart.

I was reminded of Elijah desperately looking for a mighty God in the wind, quaking earth, and fire, only to find God instead in a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:12). How often do we look for the spectacular, only to discover that God was with us in the ordinary all the time, waiting to be found? We can hear God's voice in a phone call from a friend. We see God's concern in Bible verses that guide us in daily situations. We feel God's touch comforting us in dark nights. We see God revealed quietly in our lives.

Evelyn Beck (Washington, USA)

Dear God, thank you for all the ways your goodness comes quietly to us. Help us to see them and be grateful. Amen.

God's extraordinary goodness comes to us in ordinary days.

To see God in daily activities

Ho-hum

2010-05-23T17:56:00.002+02:00

Figured I'd better blog before someone thought I fell off the face of the earth.

Had some rough things going on in my life that I don't want to share - I know, me? not share?
Maybe one day but I doubt it.

But my mental energy is being used on other things right now. I'm having trouble getting my head around life right now. I feel out of balance and disappointed with my work life, my family life, my couple, my spiritual life. When I say disappointed, I mean it's not what I'd thought or hoped or aspired to. And I can't seem to get to the point of acceptance - which is stupid, I know, because I have so much to be thankful for - why should I be disappointed for crying out loud? And on top of all this...IM GOING GRAY!!!! OMG, tons of gray hairs!!!!!!!!! WTH????

Ugh, sorry, my blog sure is depressing isn't it.

Ok - on a lighter note. My running program, well, hasnt gotten very far. I did really well for two weeks - jogging 5/7 days for 3-4 miles/outing. But I had to stop, my left foot, heel and ankle are killing me - even at rest they hurt now!
I started doing a little more yoga (I had stopped over the past few months) and plan on getting back to doing that as much as I was at one point in time.

Still, not a very light note...let's try again :
Crafting! Now there's some levity :D!
My recent finished projects :